happy me.. ;)

yeahs.. since i can't elaborate, i'll summarise..

today.. dis n dat den band.
so fun seh.. n to hell wit shafiq. haha.
blardy idiot. go n light lighter infront of me.
*smacks shafiq's forehead*
yeah.. afta band so happy lo..
den happy until now..
dunno y.. -nuts- :P
ok2.. can't say much..

oh ya.. thanx a million to liyana dahhling..
thanx for running everywhere wit me today..
n thanx to renee too.. ((:
byezz..

-HAPPY BELATED B'DAE TO JIN XIU-
-HAPPY 16TH B'DAE TO SUFFIAN-
-HAPPY ADVANCED B'DAE TO "AH KIAO"-

P.S: encouraging someone to smoke is never okay. sheesh. haha. :P

whee..

yay..! who cares bout wat ppl think bout me??
as long as u beleive in ureself, all goes well..
yeah, dats wat i found out..! =D

my goal today:
work ass off till midnite n get my maths done.!
serious. no joke.

ytd, sat at the balcony, do work..
msg a lil n yeah.. finish alot of work..
so today, i shall prove dat i can do it again.. *cheers*

today:
skool was damn tiring..
i SERIOUSLY HATE THE BLOODY SCHOOL SYSTEM..!!
wit teachers like jason lim, sian, can die..!!
gth lar u..!! it wasnt a big deal till u wanted to show ur mighty power of making us stay back..
fish u lar..!! niwae, afta staying back afta school for dat blardy thing,
me n yana "fly" to lot 1 to buy prezie..
sorta like still guilty.. haha..
nice but, haiyo.. how to say arh??
like got negative things.. niwae..
tmr still haf to fly to lot 1.. haha..
haha.. nvm, nvm..
is the tot dat counts rite..
rite?? haha... duno like why so happy seh..
maybe a gd sign for me dat i've moved on..
niwae, afta hmt, went for band..
afat band crap ard wit
azimah, saki, mel, nafisah, dama, juliana n so on n so forth..

kk.. i stop here.. too long already..
today so nice lar..
early mornign saw some1...
den lessons wasn't such a bore..
den a lot of luffing..
alot of flying here n der..
eh.. wait. think2, like notin special rite..
haha.. maybe its just me..
kk.. yay..! i luv myself seh..!!

till den..~cheerios..!!

++//no tears. no time to cry. startin to make the most of my life. =D

only one...

okies.. just got back frm religious class..
wat cud make me more happier then logging in to MSN den a dew seconds later he log in..??
haha.. notin..!!
ok, ok.. no big deal lar..
listening to only one..
so nice.. ~i can't get up when ur gone..~
serious.. at times when i tink of him..
i feel so helpless.. but life has to go on..
only god noes how many times i've cried for him..
well.. who cares.. his b'dae comin up..
tink twice, dun tink worth it buy him prezie..

on another topic.. i still haven't do alot of my hmwk..
sheesh.. dun tink i'll get my goal..
wadeva.. feel so down again..

bleahs.. till den..
~byezz..

++//there's just no one that gets me like you do.

bordy-ness..

[[edited]]
noting to do.. bleahs.. *bored*
so update again..! haha..
dun u guys just luv me 4 updatin everyday..
*applause* hahs..
kkz.. life improving..
gotten over him but not completely yet..
he like change seh.. nvm.. shudn't bother..
yeahs.. decided to let nature takes it course..
everything happens for a reason n ders alwaes karma..
so *no worries*... yayness..!!
had band.. usual thing..
the new band room rox like hell...!!!
den in skool saw jun yang.. haha..
he's in BB..! wth.. laugh my ass off wit nic..
he look like POW like dat wit his hair..
haha.. afta band, went to lotty one wit saki n sha..
walk2.. story2.. den went back home..
*doinks* still hafn't do hmwk..
mr wong is so gonna kill me when skool reopens..
hahss.. no he luvs me..! he wudn't kill me..
kk.. crapping again..

end of here.. ~buhbyyezzz...!!!

++//everything was blatant. u were blind.

-nutty nutss-

...

argh.. hafin headache..
since last nite..
nvm.. i'm goin 2 turn in early..
tmr haf band.. ~whee..!
no, no.. not cos i wanna see him..
cos of somethin else..
~shh..! cannot tell.. haha..
watch finding nemo..
yeahs.. ao refreshin lo..
but maybe shud haf watch the sound of music..
n i wanna watch dirty dancing..
haha.. very weird hor..? hehe..
i'm goin nuts lar..
nut, nut, nutty, nutless, nuttys me...!
~wheeeeeeeeee.! i'm in luv wit nuts..
haha.. kk. i'm crapping..

till den..~ cheerios...!!

-i'm crapy-
-i'm nutty-

-i love you- `wo ai ni..
-i miss you- `wo xiang ni..
-i hate you- `wo hen[sp?] ni..!!

nut.nuts.nutty.nutless.nutties.crap.

forget it.. byezz.. *headache, headache* *help, help...!*

simple love..

yay..! i finally get dis song..
love the song not the voice.. haha..
okies.. dunno wat 2 write..
i update again later k..

lyrics

shuo bu shang wei shen me
Couldn’t really say why

wo bian de hen zhu dong
I became very initiative-taking (or “active”)

re ai shang yi ge ren / shen me dou hui zhi de qu zuo
If you fall in love with someone, anything is worth doing

Pre Chorus
wo xiang da sheng shun bu
I want to announce loudly

dui ni yi yi bu she
That I can’t bear to be apart from you

lian ge bi ling ju dou cai dao wo xian zai de gan shao
Even my next door neighbors can guess my feelings right now

Chorus 1
he bian / de feng / zai chui zhe tou fa / piao dong
The breeze by the river, is blowing your hair, swaying

qian zhe / ni de / shou yi zhen mo ming / gan dong
Holding your hand, a sense of unknowingly being touched

wo xiang dai ni hui wo de wai po jia
I want to take you to my grandma’s home

yi qi / kan zhe ri luo / yi zhi dao wo men dou shui jiao
Watching the sunset together until we fall asleep

Chorus 2
wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou bu fang kai
I want to just hold your hand like this and not let go

ai neng bu neng gou yung yuan dan chun mei you bei ai
Can love be forever innocent without sadness

wo, xiang dai ni qi dan che
I want to take you bike-riding

wo, xiang he ni kan bang qiu
I want to watch baseball with you

xiang zhe yang mei dan you chang zhe ge yi zhi zou
Want to be like this with no worries, singing as we walk along

wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou be fang kai
I want to just hold your hand like this and not let go

ai ke bu ke yi jian jian dan dan mei you shang hai
Can love be simple without pain

ni, kao zhe wo de jian pang
You leaning on my shoulder

ni, zai wo xiong kou shui jiao
You sleeping on my chest

xiang zhe yang de sheng huo wo ai ni, ni ai wo
Like this kind of life, I love you, you love me

xiang! Jian! Jian! Dan! dan! Ai...
Want simple simple love! (x2)

Repeat Pre-Chorus
Repeat Chorus 1
Repeat Chorus 2
Repeat Chorus 2

sporty day... :)

heyss.. wat happen today..
sports day.. so bored plus fun..
-take mrt got himm..
had maomao sit beside me at 1st..
cute lar he.. haha..
den he change place..
was onli excited during cheer..
oh wells.. red house won..
no big deal lar..
dey were good..
alot of ppl fell..
afta the whole thing finish..
go eat..
HAKIM BLANJE..!! ;>
~whee.. damn nice chap lar he..
den go back to skool..
den went to lotty 1..
hah.. dun wish to elaborate.. =p

no band tmr.. :(
nvm.. sat will be fun..

sorry if dis entry not juicy enuf..
bored like hell n dunno wat to say..

till den
~haf a nicey day.. ;)

-i'm nutty- ;l

him..

wth. so bored n i can't sleep..
thinkin bout himm..
haix.. so down man..
dunno wat can boost my spirits..
himm..? hais.. dun wanna tink bout it..
let me just write one LONG entry bout my feelings n when its all said and done, maybe i'll get beta..
the feeling for u now is begginning to grow again..
dunno y.. so many feelings..
tink i hate himm more den i like him..
but y i still cannot let go..
its no one fault.. its just me..
y must i even decide to like him in the 1st place..
y was everything planned like dis..
i hate the way u avoid lookin at me..
i hate the way u dun even greet me..
i hate the way u dun talk me..
i hate the way u make me feel..

I HATE YOU...

memories..
haix.. maybe dats just the thing dat holding me..
i wanna move on.. be happy..
those memories make me happy..
cos it's the only reminder to me dat i ever had u..
n it hurts me cos noe all those thing can't happen again..
HURT.. is the bigger thing..
yes, it was short..
but did u noe it was one of the best times of my life when i was wit u..
notin... n i mean noting cud ever bring me down den..
every next skoolin day i look forward..
knowin dat u'll gif me dat one smile dat can just illuminate me more..

i just miss dat feeling..

i feel so stupid to still hold on to u..
*6 months*
all gone.. not dat we're togeder or wat..
i mean 6 months of me linkin u.. (still goin on)
it was no stupid crush. it was pure "love"..
no, maybe not love.. just a deep liking for u..

every nite, just stare at ur msg u send months ago..
knowing its meaningless, but still stare at it..
like gundu.. den cry.. *useless*
yess. i noe.
try my best look all happy n cheery everyday..
but everything was just a fake..

now.. i dun wanna be fake..
i wanna be ME..
dun care i like him or not..
if i wanna like him, i noe i must be strong..
if not, must let go..
but letting go takes more strength..
rite..?

eh, no.. maybe he's sweet..
he'll be ever so sweet..
yeahs.. =)

dunno lar.. think dats it..
before i cry even more..
feel much beta..
hais..

-i want u back-
)=
-i'm nuts-
=l

-HAPPY B'DAE TO FATHIN-

life..!

bleahs.. so tired..
did i mention ytd foto taking??
hahhs.. so hot..!
but finally..
afta 5 yrs i've been sittin in the 1st row,
i FINALLY was standing in the 2nd row..!!
~whee...! hahhs.. it was darn hot though..
dun tink it'll be good.. nehs..
today.. i didn't concentrate in any lessons..
maths i cudn;t understand some parts.
hate ms loh's teaching.. so not clear..
oh, how i miss mr wong..
wahahax..!
y so many ppl wanna noe who's dat him???
hahhs. big deal huh..?
haha.. nvm.. one day, when i already strong to tell..
i'll tell those who are dyin to noe okie..
hahhs.. lit was the best today..
the play was fun..
hah.. sports day tmr..
i'll see my frens run like the wind and cheer like mad ppl..
hahas.. till den..
~cheerios..!

-i luv chocolates- =p

goin downhil..

hiax.. gonna be short again.
duno y suddenly no mood..
kinda miss those times we had..
*sobs* )=
wish i knew wat more he want..
saw him here n der..
duno lar.. dun wanna tink bout it..
but soo sad.. very sad.
haix. hope things will n can get beta.
Lit drma tmr n i haf not even finish reheasing..
ppl.!! get ur butts workin..
i may look onli like i'm shoutin but i'm tryin my best 2 make dis play the best..
haix.. work wit me lar..
dun tink i'm just bossing ard..
cos i neva wanna be..
i find those scrpt edited till my backbone wanna break..
didn't do the other hmwks.. hais..
work k... i n some others sacrifice my cca time n stuff u guys ought to..
dis thing onli once and ppl like D*** are givin me attitude..
haiyo.. bare in mind if i didn't haf any simpathy u'll be all alone..
so work.!!!!!!!!! dun tink u're the god damn onli person in the world who has CCA..
so pissed man just now..
so dats it.. my hmwk still not finish..

i hate skool..
i like him..
i luv my frens..
i'm nuts.. =l

tired.!!!!!!!!

real in need of time..
so gonna be short n sweet..
saw him today..
nice.. but sorta like no "excited" feeling..
so i guess i've slightly gotten over him..
den afta skool saw dem dancing..
argh. i so can't wait till sports day.. =)
i'll be seating and den tell the whole world dat those are my besties which are dancing..
wakaka..! i'm mad n i'm evil..

*i want DELTA GOODREM CD and DISNEY CLASSICS CD and THE GREATEST LOVE SONGS CD..! argh.. find all over Lot 1 dun haf..!! argh.. need money also.. sheesh.. buy for me yaw..?? hahs..!!*

complainsss...

yay..! just went out wit ma family..
watch Spongebob Squarepants the Movie..
hahha.. *lamenessss... =p
wakaka..! watch it if u wanna chill out..
patrick is damn cute.. LOL!
afta watching movie, go eat..
hais.. wanted go Swenson but all my family wanted to go Seoul Garden..
wad da fish.. kind of still regret givin in 2 the whole family..
hehs.. niwae had fun..
wanted 2 find skool shoes but dun haf wat i wanted.
haiyo.. y all i want now days cannot get..

hol. assignments..
dun wanna tink bout it..
will slog all the way to midnite..
complete as much as i can..
esp. maths.. =s

n i tink life's gettin better..
~whee..! lookin on the bright side..
i realise dat i dun need him..
he's now just a want..
get the diff.. hehe.. nvm..
dun wanna tink so much..
one day, someone better will come,
although i dun haf anyone in mind now.. -.-
__*fairytales...

wait. did i mention i didn't get to watch
Disney On Ice..??
hais.. nvm2..
if only dey can extend the dates..

*to haro: hahs.. i noe who u are.. i'm not stupid.. u aren't a computer wizard aren't u?

dunno wat to write animore..
till den..
~buhbyezz..!

-no drugs

hehe.. just watch dat drug concert thingie..
sly very nice seh the voice..
ok, i mean the song...
taufik wasn't dat gd..
he shud haf sang superstitious..
niwaes.. had band ytd n today..
saw him otw to skool..
den walk all the way alone..
den tot bout all those memories again..
wonder when he'll even smile at me..
bleahs.. we are improving..
yay! -SYF GOLD WITH HONOURS...
yeah.. lucky i wasn't kicked out..
niwae, my dad just bought a new kewboard, a mouse n dat thing dat can burn cd one n the zen micro MP3 player.. ~whee.! cool huh.. =D
tmr maybe we all goin out..
yeahs.. long time i nvr spent time wit ma family..

argh.. holiday assingments..
such a pain in the ass..
still got loads..
confirm cannot finish by skool reopen..
bleahs.. skool sucks..
dey are havin all kinds of programs on CCA days n who the heck get scolded..??
us.. damn dem man..
den no damn teacher wants to care bout our problem..
all they care is them, themselves n them..
wad da fish..

haix.. k lah..
wanna start do hmwk..
lucky zin n iz kol me..
ahh.. luv dem to bits..
can't wait 4 skool to reopen..
oops..! oh well..
maybe not..

till den..
~adios..!

-wo ain ni-

-ni ai wo-

yawn..

helo peepos..!
gd morning..
dat poem on top of dat picture veh nice..
read a million times already..
extracted:

but in mua heart yew start tu grow on mie

kind of suddenly

so now i've change direction

knowing it might seems strange

lurfe came over me

feeling da luck has changed

do ew want mie, like ii want ew?

in dis cold world, where dreams are few

baby, ii want ew ;

is dat too much to ask for..?

edited:

hard day lar..

go cosway..

dun say wit who..

somehow, he's not my special someone nimore..

wad da fish lor.. =/

he very sensitive seh..

lucky it was onli like 15-20 mins

fuck lar.. met izzati..

den we just walk2.. tried to find present..

already noe wat to buy.

hope he like seh..

my only hope.. hais.. -.-

its like i see a lot of guy,

so far he's the best seh i've ever find..

willing to sacrifice n stuff..

hais..

must let go..

yeah.. releks.. chill..

everything is already predestined..

must beleive in fate..

till den..

~buhbyezz..

feelingless

gee.. guess dats wat i'm feeling now..
read some ppl blog's like very touching leh..
haix.. i dunno wat to do..
sometimes i just wish i can let go..
be just me n my frens..
no boys..
i tink i dun like him nimore..
its just dat the memories are so difficult to erase..
come to tink of it,
he was the 1st guy dat i like n he like me back..
i confessed to him..
go out togeder..
send me back..
i mean if u were in my shoes,
can u eva forget all the stuff..?
n its like u also the guys dat hurt me the most..
alot of times, i try my best..
try to let go..
try to hate him..
but its just dat der's dis mountain of memories dat i just hold on to..
every night, i lay back..
tink bout all those things..
how it all started..
the very 1st wave u gaf to me..
the very 1st talk we had..
the very 1st time u msg me..
i still rmb..
den i tink bout wat i've done wrong..
yes.. der was flaws..
but i cudn't see how u cud forget bout me so fast..
den we started to stop msging...
i began to change...
i tot of notin but u..
i noe u're happy now..
i dun wanna disturb u nimore..
but i've got to let out dis feelings..
i dunno when i will let go..
haix..

to him n her:
sorry if i'm an intrudence in ur relationship.. real sorri.. it's not dat i purposely want to, but, haix.. hope her understand.. i'm really sorry.. to him.. haf a happy life wit her.. u guys deserve each other.. hope guys stay foreva.. =)

besides dat..
when to NCC HQ today..
change my uniform..
finally man..
so dead bored n tired..
wanna start eng today..

till den..
byezz...

n when i'm wit u,
i'm almost close to tears,
cos u're onli almost here..

exhausted -shagged

the previous ntry wasn't wat i wanted 2 write..
k, so here goes..
totally exhausted... -shagged
hahas... dunno wat 2 say..
afta i tot my pain was goin of, it came back..
baa.. i dunno wat i did 2 receive dis.
is funny wat fate has 4 us..
dis is just wat i've gotta say..

i've not gotten over you..
i dun even neo wat i did wrong...
but argh. damn u!
i tink i noe wats goin on..
i dunno y can't let go..
can i say i've lost him??
-no, i can't..
how can i possiby lost somethin i nvr had..
haix..

to the other him, fark off lar..
so much time wasted on u..
all same story..

kkz. on the brighter side..
i've started my hmwk..
whee.. to make dat more satisfying...
i must say its maths dat i've started on..
*applause*

band sux now..
but nvm..
GOLD WITH HONOURS..
we will try our best..
feel like quittin sometimes.. =x

n i've changed the background..
comments needed..
black or white nicer..
if both not nice, den just say..
cos den i'll change..

till den..
~cheerios..

since you've been gone

~whee..!
he just called me..!
he very sweet seh..
i tot he wudn't call me early in the morning..
den he say he also haven't bathe..
i also haven't bathe..
wahahax..! so sweetzz..!
maybe goin out wit him lar later..
do project also..
den afta we put down, i go bathe..
den afta i bathe, shortly later,
he msg me he also say he just finish bathe..
whee.. so sweetzz..
all the pain i've gone thru now payin of..
lubx him so much..!!
yay! can see him tmr..
so nice.. =DDD

tired

yes.. performance at sentosa..
wad de hell. wasn't good..
my shoes was hurtin me..
but den again b4 the perf..
real fun..
we go n cross dat "bridge" dat brings us to the other so called "island"..
whee.. wanted to do dat for a million years man..
n i finally did.. yeah..
wish can be on dat island wit someone..
haha..
real nice lar sentosa..
the water soo clean..
n u noe wat?
i'm left out by my parents cos dey went to sentosa..
wa liao.. nvm2..
n i think i am FINALLY gettin over him..
yeah.. =D

letting go

haix..
alot of ppl noe, but alot of ppl THINK dat i dun..
wad de hell..
nvm.. ytd, was hard for me..
letting go ain't easy..
but i'm learning..
gif me TIME dude..
i need it.. oh wells, nvm..
not like u wud care rite..
dunno wat to write..
miss him lar
argh. shudn't say dat..
he's happy.. let him be..
dun wanna destroy it..
it's his time of life n its not mine..
haix.. sometimes i wonder when it can be like last time..
our "hi" and "bye" and smiles was still der..
i dunno wat i did wrong but its all gone..
i MUST accept the fact dat he doesnt' gif a damn bout nimore..
i must.. slowly, learning to put him aside..
but i dun haf much strength left..
i noe its over..
it was not wat it was 4 mnths ago.
us talkin, msgin, smiling all not der nimore..
no matter how hard i try..
i still rmb dat msg u send me..
it was one of mose happiest moments..
i nvr knew u wud be the one den..
it all happen too fast..
i still want u back.. )))=

last time it was u who turn my
stormy days to sunny nites..
now its u who turn my
sunny days to stormy nites..

i luv him..

~whee..!
my life rockzz..!!
oh.. no, no..
my life is average..
yeah.. still not dat good yet..
i slack too much lar..
haiyo.. kk..
today, afta remedial went to gullin.
very relaxing lar der..
den iz find where i keep dat 3 msg..
baa..

i will rmb dat day foreva..
10.12.04..
haix.

saw him once today..
sad de.. dunno why..
must forget de..
wish i can write everythin here..
but den ppl wud say i very sellfish lar..
dun want.. i'm too sellfish already lar now..
haix.. one day.. i wish..
argh. dunno wat to write..
byezz..

(i want him back..)

misunderstood..??

wad da hell..
thin, i was merely tellin u OUR story
n givin u a chance to xplain urselve..
y become so sarcastic at ur blog..
i belief dat dat person who tags ma board is some1 related wit u cos it happens everytime when someone "disses" u.. n dat person always use unusual names..
cos if its not ur peeps, den i tink its some else.
n whose life am i controlling..???
alermak, where's ur facts de..
i start talkin bout other ppl onli, got ppl diss me..
when it nvr actually happen to me..
wad da hell..
ahh.. nvm, wun bother..
btw, zin, iz n yana totally supports me...
saw him once today.. =D

my lit essay is still not finish.. wtf.

a whole summary of my life currently

k, i'm too depressed now..
so let me resolve some issues here..
firstly.. dis is sometin i've no touch on although it has been happening for quite some time..
let me begin..

dis part of the entry is for my "fren"..
Fathin Hanani..
yes you.. u notice i haven't write anything bout u haven't i..?
well here goes all my opinions...
u reply zin's tag n say dat it was HER fault when she didn't layan u on the day we went out 2 eat is it..?
u say we treat u differently frm how we treat fizzah last time is it..?
well, let me tell you, dat dis entry wasn't an encouragement frm anyone but i wanted to tell my part of the story..
now, let me bring u to the day when u n yana start the DIARY..
yes, dat diary which u n yana onli was aloud to write in..
let me ask u..
if u were me, iz or zin, how wud u haf felt..
wudn't u sense something was happenin..?
sometin was happenin ONLY between u n her..
wudn't u feel like an outcast..
wudn't questions start apperin in ur head..
questions like why is the diary started between u two,
when u in the 1st place is closer to zin..
why is der a sense of alliance building..
wudn't u feel HURT..
yes, i may not be close to u, but i was HURT when i knew abt dat diary..
was it fair to the other 3 of us..
u guys had a form of communication but we didn't haf..
rmb, u ever said dat "frens tell not hide.."
y was dat diary even created in the 1st place..??
n yes, u did let us read it, but did u noe how we felt bout it..?
u also made the other 3 of us look as if we're UNABLE to help yana wit her probs..

den afta dat..
u started givin us dat cold face look..
we TRIED asking u wat was wrong..
n all u said was "tkde pape" or in other words nothin wrong..
now, wit dat ans u expect us to help u..???
u turn to yana wit ur probs rite..
again u made the other 3 of us look like idiots who can't help u..
even if we tried advising u, i beleive some parts of it u only PRETEND to hear wat we were saying..
den i rmbered clearly, dat u started bein closer to yana.. not zin..
u sort of like showed us dat u wanted ur own gang..
onli u, yana n fizzah.. where was th 5 of us which u haf been blabbing bout..???
excuse me miss, who was the one who was all against fizzah besides me last time..
u rite..?? n now u want to be the 2-faced-idiot who go wit her..
wat the fish..

den dat day, when the 3 of u go to the movies..
u said u wudn't go if u knew dat i knew..
wat the shit u talkin..
does dat mean if i DIDN'T noe, u wud haf gone..???
didn't u haf a sense of guilt.. a sense of betrayal towards us..
i guess no rite.. u knew fizzah n liyana cud be use for ur evil plan..
u cud haf AT LEAST told us dat u wanted to skip lessons dat day..
i tried my best to hide dat u were goin to the movies frm iz n zin..
but i HAD dat sense of guilt.. a sense of loyalty..
dats y told dem.. u wanna call me a betrayer, a big mouth..
go on girl.. i wan only doin my part.. which was tellin the truth..
so much for ur FRENS TELL NOT HIDE..

den, the day after dat.. u realized dat the other 3 of us was diff towards u..
phew.! i'm glad u notice.. i knew u knew dat dey already noe bout u skippin classes.
u REALIZE dat i totally didn't talk to u..
but didn't u notice dat zin TRIED to talk to u..
even wit the fact dat she KNEW dat she was betrayed by someone who she RESPECTED, LOOK UP TO N WAS HER BEST FREN..
notice i use the word was..
she tried askin u nicely to go out n eat wit us..
but u just gaf her the "i dun gif a damn look" n u just replied somberly wit a "no"..
zin was hurt gal.. but she just keep quite..
den when we were walkin.. u USED wit fizzah to tell ur probss..
hah.. using someone again..
we just keep quiet.. n i beleive dat day, u PURPOSELY walk slowly to irritate us..
yup, n u just keep quiet.. but den again, u notice zin still borrowed u money
although she was almost broke den..
she still wanted u but u just didn't wanna talk to her..
do u tink it was FAIR to us, oh no, dun talk bout us.. was it fair to HER(ZIN)..??

den the day when i gave u back ur hmt test paper, u didn't even say thank you..
u just gaf me the "i dun gif a damn" look..
i cudn't be bothered to even 'jeling" at u..

n den, der was 1 day afta hmt..
u noe zin's leg was hurting n it was hot..
but like always, the sellfish u, u just insist on walking..
u didn't even cared bout d others..

n dun tink i'm all good wit fizzah, renee n firqin..
i noe u might be thinkin dat i'm contradicting myself..
i'm not.. k.. if the rest wanna be clsoe wit dem..
i cannot say anything..
but i want u to noe, dat i haf not forgotten wat dey did to us..
n i nvr did gaf fizzah a diff treatment..
she was the want who got closer to us..
but i can swear dat i nvr treat her like more den how i treat the 4 others, or shud i say the other 3 of us..?

so, the days goes on witout u in our lifes..
now, there is a reason y i write all dis..
some one close to me is havin ur problem now.
rest assure i NOE how u feel..
n i feel its just rite to let u noe our opinions..
n dun tink all i write in here is it..
der is more..
just dun wanna make u look bad..
think bout all dat we haf done for u..
i may not haf done much for u..
but just think about ppl like zin..
she's the hurt most u noe..
n u said u dun haf anyone..?
wat about ur "oh-so-great" abgs..?
wat abt ur "oh-so-great-frens- which-i-dun-gif-a-damn-last-time-but-now-so-gd-2-me" frens..
i'm not making u look bad..
now, i'm, no, WE are giving u a chance to EXPLAIN urselve..
a chance which u haf been longing for..
now dat u noe wat we feel..
answer my qustions gal...
i'll be waitin..

too tired to write the other probs lar..
till den, adios...

cannot sleep de..
haix..
i not jealous, but i just envy dos who relationship turn nice n well..
just wanna be happy lar..
want 2 write alot of things but dunno how alot of peeps noe my blog, feel more depressed..
wanna change blog sometime soon..
read thru all my previous entry..
wah, got 3 days i will nvr forget sia..
n 3 msgs dat i will rmb for life..
got alot de reason behind y i do all dis..
also, his b'dae comin.. wa liao..
a few months back, was excited but dis date,
but now, half-hearted.. half want to gif present..
half wanna just wish, half dun wanna do anything at all..
like very stress sia.. not onli bout dis lar..
got abt frens n studies also..
n i've not achieved my new year resolution..
wth.. enuf said..

the thought of losing u and hurting is unbearable..
but the thought of not having is incontrolable..
it's burning within me...

the blardy band

today was really bad..
*triple sigh*
was late.. walk so fast..
den reachin skool, saw him..
didn't wanna catch up but i was late..
so instead, i overtook him..
den fall in n stuff..
was feeling real down..
den later band was a bore..
den goin home.. fall in, again felt the same thing.
wth. niwae, the majors ask to bring back inst..
wth.. miss seah's order.. idiot sia..
we practice until so late also still haf to bring home..
hey, it's not as if we do haf time even if we bring home.
n when i was SERIOUS, dey can still make jokes..
n dey expect me to bring it up n down like idiot.
den dey just refuse to accept my reasons..
dey dun even see my EFFORT until dey gave up..
wth.. was already fucked up sia, den dunno how, i got too sensitive..
wth.. den a lot of peeps ask me wat happen..
hah.. i made the majors look as if dey're soo bad.. hahaha..
wadeva lar.. cudn't be bothered..
but it was bad lar..

listening to lost witout you repeatedly..
dunno wat else to say lar..
except dat i suddenly tot bout dis..

y guys always look at gals who flirt wit dem..??
does dat mean other gals haf to flirt wit the guys we like..?
dats wat i've been noticing.. hehe..
anyone feel hurt sorry yar.. dats just my opinion..

n my mum just ask me wat day is today..
haha.. i tot my granny b'dae..
den my mum say something like "ur head lah.."
den i think2..
today is my mum n dad's anniversary..
~weets..!! haha.. i totally forgot bout it..
hehe..

depressed

bleahs..
today wasn't dat interesting..
maths was ok.. test tmr..
really haf doubts bout me passing it..
suppose to meet mr wong afta skool..
but already promised to meet sum1..
wth.. shud haf see him..
haix.. wat is becoming of me..
mt was really bad..
was down.. was thinking of a alot of things..
here's wat i was thinkin bout:
maths test... him. lit.. him. eng.. him. band.. him. frens.. him. maths test.. him.
n yar.. wanted to write in my diary..
but i cudn't write anyting..
so ended up writing nice, nice quotes..
den was down until afta remedia...
den went 2 causeway t00k ne0s..
k, wanna g0 study...
wish me uck f0r tmr...

rec0vering..

school's beta..
full of lameness n crappiness..
not forgettin STRESS..
today wasn't dat bad..
maths was just confusing..
really confusing.. =x

can't say too much..
now i noe alot of peeps do read my blog..
haiyo.. den dey dunno who i referrin to,
dey go n say anyhow..
wat lah..

ahh.. wat else can i say..??
oh yar..! mubin n haikal really make hmt lessons diff..
so lame lah dey all..
n hakim gonna treat me on monday..!!!
~yeahh..!!!

band is like argh.. dun tok bout it..
k lah, off to do my hmwk..
=D
(live, smile, be happy.. who noes tmr may not be..)

-did a c0upe f changes.. nice?? =pPpP

i dun wanna be lonely no more..
i dun wanna be hurt no more..