2007 has been a blast and its ending!
though it doesnt feel like it seyh. hahas.
lets sum up 2007 for my final post!

SHANGHAI!!!

going to SHANGHAI is like the besssst thing that happened this year. cos i made freinds wit so many new ppl and i learn to cope on my own in a foreign country so well. and making the bond wit ppl i ardy know even closer. ALL 9 of you would always have a special place in my heart and i hope 2 or 3 yrs down the road, we can still have a gathering and all of us still recognize each other ya. (: MR KAMAL! thnx for being a wonderful teacher both in sch and during the trip. MDM TANG too! thankful that she took good care of all of us! SHANGHAI holds lots of beautiful and wnderful memories that i'll alwaysALWAYS rmb. I WONT FORGET MY SHANGHAI FRIENDS TOO! cos they made the trip even more worth it. ((:

HANYANG.

as much as putting your pic HURTS. i still got to thank you for makinf 2007 very nice to rmb. the times spent together has been really wonderful that i doubt anybody can replace it. but too bad we chose to go our own ways not together. yes, for those who dont know yet, WE BROKE UP. yahh. its saaaaad. but. oh well. i wanna just rmb u as ther person i first fall in love wit. not the person i broke up wit. ur letters and everytin u gaf me is kept and i shall not open it again cos i dun want to remind myself of the past. just thank you so much for helping me through 2007. good luck in whatever you do. (:

(damn it. typing the above sucks cos... )
i dont love you like i did yesterday.

other people, obviously ZIYL!
i dun have a pic of us together cos im using my lappy! BUT. im sososososo GLAD that although we have different classes, boyfriends, family, obligations, commitments etc. we still can just meet up and then talk nonsense and just spill our guts out! the way you all understand and just be there for me when i need it always makes me feel blessed to know i have real true friends who would always be by my side. (: i hope we can still get married, have our kids and still meet up ok! LOVE YOU GUYS: IZZATI, ZIN, LIYANA! *muacks!

not forgetting, 4E4.
yay!! omg. like finally all of us a graduating! can u like beleive it! hahas. o levels was a bitch but we made it! (: haha. look forward to see every single one of you during results! which is in less than a month! =x haha.

MY FAMILY.
ooh. hahs. this year, i think mum and i are like so much closer. (: hahs. hopefully next year it would be better! love all of you!

okok. so i tink dats about it!
some special mentions,
ISKANDAR: ooh. like i always say, U ROCK! thnx for always hearing me out when i have some nonsense to speak. when i cry, when i depressed. all i can say is that, i'll miss not seeing you. never expected you to be like so close to me this year. haha. (:

CHELTTON: omg. so glad we became close friends back. no matter how bad ppl impressions are, i still wanna say that he is a nice man. i am really sorry i misjudged you this year. i thank you for listening to me too and always being a ready company when i feel like all else fails. gd luck with BBALL and HER ok. :D

lastly, SUFFIAN: haha. i dunno how come we were like suddenly so close(friends) but i appreciate it a lot! (: thanx for lending me your ear and wasting ur sms when i cant sleep! hahas. you still like help me out when you dunno the real pic! i hope we wont forget each other and may 2008 bring much more happiness and a resolution/ending for you and ting ok. (:

2007 has past way tooooo fast!
on the whole has been so perfect except for this month. haha. its ok lahh. should always expect december to be a bad month! lols.
but im looking forward to next year. meeting new ppl, finding new friends!
2008! may it'll be a year filled wit so much fun and blessings.
a new beginning to a rusty ending!

with loads of LOVE;
-hayatii.

class bbq was fun! :D
gd time catching up and talkin and all that!
gonna miss every single one of them!
upload the rest wit caption tmr i tink. hahs. ((:

ok! wat a morning!
jst came back frm breakfast wit cheltton.
omg. we have no life lahh. ): hahahas.
gonna go out wit izzati later.
and then.. MOVIE! wit... hahas. (:

i'm tired of putting up a strong front. cos when there's too much going on you just cant do it all the time. i've so many things on my mind but i know im not the only wit it. so i keep it to myself first and try my best to not make others affected.

to you:
who's always been there for me this yr. it feels weird not having you ard. i cannot say that i'm ok and that i dun need you at all. cos thats utterly a lie. i wish i didnt have to go to shanghai if this was wat i have to go through. i know its unfair to you. even more unfair if you really knew wat happen there. cos it was utterly wrong for me to even do it. but, when i was there, i thought so much about you, us and myself. where did both of us stand in each others heart. it wasnt easy to bring myself to reality and assure myself that i too have no more feelings for you. but, the memories have been so beautiful. but it was a vulnerable one. i dun cry for u anymore i just miss the times. the fun. the joy. i really do. i still tire myself till today cos i refuse to tink abt all those times. i've been sleeping so late and waking up so late too cos i know i dun haf to think of u half the time. i'm still waiting for ur PROMISE to happen. you PROMISE and you have 2 DAYS left. cheltton told me to wait. i will. but if u dun fulfill it den f*** you. i feel so defenseless. even dat day, after talking to someone who was close to BOTH IF US, we cant find a reason for ur change. "its not like him to be rude." thats wat we agree on. but... ): i wish you communicate more and you'd have given me a chance you got back frm camp, but it was too late. the same thing happen to me last yr and i really wanted to make ammends b4 the same thing hapens,but it was too late. the letter i meant to give you is still in the box wit so many others. i dun want to wish anymore cos it just doesnt come true. thanx for everytin.

to you:
the one who was closest to me 2 wks ago. its been so long since the days we spent together. everytime, after its over you pretend like im a stranger. it hurts but i cannot do anytin cos we resolved and settled everyting before we said our final goodbyes. i'll always rmb wat u say: "wat happens there, stays there..." and i never knew you meant every single word of it. i wish i didnt do wat we did dat night. i wish i didnt agree to it. cos now, its taking a very big toll on me cos after all im someone who clings to memories and good times. its so hard to see you there but its like as if you dun even know me. its as though NOTHING happen but.. we shared so much while it lasted. gave me so much joy and happiness during the days we had. felt so protected, safe, cared, LOVED. i feel damn sad cos its over and your pretence/ignorence which is so bloody damn good. ):

over YOU.

phew! ok. so tired now.
spent half a day updating the SHANGHAI BLOG!
pls. PLEASE! go to:
www.humans-in-swiss.blogspot.com
and taaag ok! if you do visit!
its not complete ya so keep visiting! xD

OK! one of the days longLONG ago, i went back to band for the camp. wit AMIRUL! thnx for spendin that day wit me! (: here's some pics!















me and HAIKAL. ok. tough u were not promoted, do come back for band as often as u can ok! im gonna miss u and ur babats! hahaha! =D















AMIRUL!! ok. i tink he's waaaay handsome now! HAWT STUFF! haha. thanx for accmpanyin me again! ((:














me and ISKANDAR.
you! thanx for hearing me out when i really need to ok. i wont meet u so much next yr but hope we keep in touch! ohoh! A BIG BIG THANK YOU for keeping my secrets!!! hahas. my deepest, darkest secrets! ahhas. can never thank you enough! i've told u things that i would nvr tell others before! haha. ROCK ON DUDE! my best pal for the past few weeks! (((((:















ILYAS! DO NOT RIP THIS PIC!!! haha.
i wanted to only take photo of my sect! hahs. NOT HER! =x
HAHAHA! ok lahh. i kidding! u can take the pic if u want! (:

OK! i dun tink i'll post band photos! cos i dun tink i look good on that day! haha! SORRY!
but i'll post the pics on the EAST COAST OUTING sooon! haha. ((:

ps: CANT WAIT FOR SHANGHAI PPL BBQ!!!!

ok.
i feel HAPPY! (:
like first time happy since last sat!

FRIDAY.
ok! went out wit CHELTTON TAN.
ahhas. u all might say like "WHAAAAAAAT??!!"
ok. dun get the wrong idea, but we both were longing for company cos we both just. . . . hahs. ok nvm. but the point is we had fun catching up and stuff cos its been real long since we talk. esp this yr afta han yang and zhanglu and all that stuff. so we catch a movie too! and NO! he didnt do anytin funny lahh ppl! (: watch ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS! so funny. sometin to make me happy after all the sad stuff that has been going on. ): boo! then at night, went for chalet! omg! so tired!!!

SATURDAY.

in the mornig, had some amazing race thingy. omg. so fuckin tired... but all i all, was quite fun! made new friends and stuff and i saw abg ciko! omg.. that tall thing! so friendly even after like wat? 5 yrs we nvr talk?! ahhas. at nite had some bbq! then went home. ohoh! was veryVERY happy that day cos of something! hahahas! see! i told u saturday was a day to look forward too! xD the happiness is still lingering! hahs.

SUNDAY.

went to GIANT!
omg. that place is sooooo *&^^%$!! we only shop for so lil stuff and then the bill sum up to be $800+! ok... long story but the cashier made some mistake so my mum got her refund off $500. then went home. ok lahh. i miss out so many details. now chattin wit a lot of ppl. ppl i've always cherish. hahas. looking forward to the last week of hols!! then after that, school!

i try so hard to tire myself out everyday cos i dun want to think about you. it takes so much to just let go. i have to do sometin every second cos if i dun, i'll cry. i dunno wat made it change but we both played the part. i was wrong to have always thought you'd be there. to turn back time is somethin i ALWAYS wish i can. im in no position to say anytin cos everytin is ardy out of its place. i'm over you but it takes time to forget about the memories and heal the wounds. ive never expected it to be like dis. sometin so beautiful, sumtin so precious, sumtin PRICELESS. i purposely sleep till 12 everyday so i know that half a day has passed without you in my mind. i go out and run laps so dat i tire myself easily. i watch nonsensical shows on the tv so that i can fall asleep. every waking moment is hell cos the tears just wont stop. i dunno what else it takes for u to just turn and change ur mind. it feels so cold when i hear ur voice. it feel so distant. i take out every damn letter and memory i had. the tears only start when i read ur reflection during our very first date. so much memories, so long ago. i admit that this would have come sooner or later. but its just so soon. so fresh. so unpredictable.

if there is ONE thing in the world i hate, its gotta be the race and religion.
it divides the human race. it discriminates.
it doesnt even sympathise.
why cant we look beyond the colour of the skin?
why cant we just have the same faith?
i myself ask god so many questions each day.
and everyday, i ask god:
"WHY DIVIDE? IF UR GOD, THEN WHY CREATE SO MANY RELIGIONS."
i know its wrong to question, wrong to ask.
but ive had enough of bearing sometin beyond my control.
i need answers.
i need ppl to explain why things happen.

i just feel so sick and tired.
im tryin to ramble on as much as i can so i get tired and i can just go to sleep without tinkin so much. oh.

I DONT WANNA GO BAND DINNER.
cos theres notin to look forward too. ):
first ever band dinner without the ppl im closest wit.
no azimah, no suffian. bleahh.

i feel so insignificant now.
i hate god but i still beleive him.
i still have faith in him.
but.. IT SUCKS.

UPDATES ON SHANGHAI!!
ok. this is supppose to be their
SCIENCE AND TECH MUSEUM.
dun think its a zoo! lols. xD
it was huge place and everythin looked so pretty!

today was fun!


i totally LOVE my girls.

met izzati and liyana ard 2 and then went JP. had our lunches and then we talk and talk and talk. ok. i soooo love talking to them! told them everything and yup. im so happy i dun have to keep things to myself nimore! it feels so great to share ur probs even if u dun need advice. (: esp wit this 2 girls. walk ard a bit and it feels so good to catch up wit one another and i hope, rellyREALLY hope we do this meet ups once in a while. walked back home wit izzati and had a fun time laughing. OMG. this girl and i can talk about soooo many things. xD I MISS MY LAST SWEETIE, ZIN!

I'VE GOT SOOOO MUCH THINGS TO SAY!

but...

i dun feel like saying anything. i feel damn EMO now.

I MISS IZZATI. ):

besides dat, today was just so.. i dunno how to describe.
i cant feel cos its all too much. i know you'd understand. its been happening since so long ago. but we choose to ignore. missing you? no. i dunno how to go on. how to move. the past few days give me so much space and time to breathe. to think about EVERY GOD DAMN thing. its best if we take a stand and move on. i dun care if whatever happens. i just want, no. i NEED to move on.

DECEMBER is a month of heartbreaks.
every YEAR, something bad happens during december.
and it always happen before christmas. ):

i need something to keep my mind off all these stuffs.
perhaps tmr i look for job? maybe!

SINGAPORE IS LOSING TO THAILAND!
so sadded! )):
under-23s so suck.. =x

i feel so sad.
is that such a thing:
"i love you but i dont like you"?

ohoh!
JIA YI!!!!!!!!!!!
thankk you for lending me ur phone!
I LOVE YOU ALOT ALOT ALOT!

- it takes more that that.
):

Is she faithful to him?
Hell no

But he chose to be with her,
Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on
When you know that girl has a whole wall of 'em just like you

And boy you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Boy use your mind
Don't be just another dime

BecauseI can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be,
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery

I MISS THIS GIRLS! ):

cant wait to see all of u tmr!

i've decided not to update about the shanghai trip.
COS THERE'S SO MUCH TO SAY!!
so, every post, i'll put up some pics that i take ther and story a lil bit.
(u can skip it if u want!)
BUT! i need to remind myself of all those wonderful times! xD

ok! this pretty lady, is ME! xP
haha! no lahh. she's my buddy!
i'll rmb her for FOREVER!!!!
thanx for being so nice. xD










some of the guys!
they were SUPER inquisitive, which made me love them. (:
hahs! they ask me so many ques abt s'pore which i was VERY PROUD to blab my mouth off!










ok. this is during thier P.E ppl!
boys and gals are seperated.
so this period, they were learning ballet stuff!
DAMN COOL right! didnt join in cos they were doing "AMAZING THINGS" wit their legs which i was CLEARLY not capable off! LMAO!

i reall still miss that place!
oh well, ytd! went to ANDREA'S place to do the brochure!
so happy to see all of them again. xD
andAND, janielson's drawing were so pretty!
it looked real man.
have always envied ppl who could sketch and draw so well!

besides that, life is so bored!

p/s: eyy.. i was sincere and i didnt mean to scare u off. =x i feel so evil. least give me a reason ya.

dun turn away. PLS.

I dont hear the music when Im looking in you eyes

But I feel the rythm of your body close to mine

Its the way we touch it sooths me

Its the way we'll always be

Your kiss your pretty smile you know I die for

Oh baby your all I need

And if i lived a thousand years

you know Id never could explain

The way I lost my heart to you that day

But if destiny decide that I should look the other way

Then the world would never know

The greatest story ever told

And did I tell you that I love you

just how much I really need you

Did I tell you that I love you tonight

i wish that night didnt have to happen.

i wish that night didnt have to end so fast.

i wish i could move on so easily as you did.

...

im actually in the library now.
very lazy to go home, although im alone.

i badly want to update about shanghai trip ok ppl.
but i still dunno how to put my experience in words.
):

i really do miss that place like f***ing lots.
more of the ppl actually.
the friends i've made.
the bond we forged.
the shaghai classmates we met.

i'm wishing so much now that my shanghai classmates would come online to talk to me. but i know they're still having thier lessons now. prolly the last lesson for the day. ): must be so super cold there by now. would they still be thinking about me? do they miss me? cos i really do. the hostel we stayed in contains so much memories. tears, sadness, joy, laughter. whatever nots. rmb STUPID PIG? (: first time i saw the other side of janielson i never knew. hahs. rmb how scheming i was? =p rmb all those taitee games wit mr kamal? all those hiding? hahas. i wish somehow, i could just go back to those days...

rmb dat day, when it was damn late at night and we still practising our "ONE PEOPLE,ONE NATION..." item and iskandar shouted "fireworks!!!" wit his eyes wide open? we thought he saw a ghosts? but turn out, i saw one of the best fireworks showcase beside my friends and we all were "ooh-ing and ahh-ing..." amazing eh?

its just so wonderful to feel such a kind of bond. frm ppl u dun really know, or hate, or maybe even strangers. this bond was made between us. its funny how i was so reluctant to leave s'pore on the morning of 25 Nov. scared out of my wits to leave my family... but then, after coming back on the night of 4 dec, i really didnt want to go home. even now, when i see Madan online, i feel so excited and jump at the chance to know how he's doing in India. i feel like laughing when i realise how my views about ke xuan, jasmine and andrea have changed so much btwn 10 days. and then i cry cos i regretted not knowing this side of them earlier. janielson and madan too, i wished i'd known them so much earlier. funny how i always tell janielson during the trip that i've never really realise his presence in sch. and when we're there, we've been the closest freinds i have.

no more sleeping wit jasmine.
no more making act cute faces wit ke xuan.
no more getting scolded frm andrea.
no more calling janielson "jenny".
no more saying that madan's off to get married.
no more jia yi to hold hands wit cos we're feeling cold.
no more sailesh to say that its "SUMMER".
no more iskandar to blab all the nonsense i feel.
no more hearing yao zu speak like dave..

those were the days...

p/s: went back all the way down, just to see you and only you. i hope u realise.

ABOUT SHANGHAI.

before i put up the fun happenings and all pics,
i just wanna say a few things about my trip to SHANGHAI.

it was one heck of a wonderful, meaningful trip.
i'll do anything, ANYTHING, just to return ther wit the same grp of ppl.

i keep thinking about all those times.
in the bus, hotel, hostel, shopping, eating.
we did so many things.
TOGETHER.

im trying so hard to hold back tears cos i miss them so much.
every single one of us "humans". (:
the memories, the times we had.

i badly want to go back to SHANGHAI.
if u ask me. the sight seeing and stuff wasnt that fun.
but the bond that was forged and created among us was so powerful and so strong.

every single one of u rocks in so many ways and i'll ALWAYS keep this lasting memory wit me.

the tears, laughter, joy, angry, unhappy, sleepy, tired moments.
i'll do ANYTHING to be in the place i was 10 days ago. ):

KEXUAN.
girl! ur so cute and i really knew u better in so many other ways after this trip. thanx for comforting me when i was feeling sad on of those days and helping me out ya. i'll rmb u now as not only a classmate but a good friend. rmb? BFFFFFFFFFF! ok. ((:

JASMINE.
hahs. thanx for being a gd roomate this past 10 days. though we quarrel sometimes, i still love u though. and no, you don't snore! hahas. ((: ur so supporting and "damn on" and u seldom care about wat ppl say, and for dat, u rock! (: BFFFFFFFFFF too!

ANDREA.
lols. you. thanx for being a gd partner to gossip and vent anger on. i've known u better too and in the end, i forget to ask u about something i've always wanted to ask u. but still, its ok. i dun mind. (: hope to see u soon aite.

JIAYI.
this girl is so damn cute! a bit rebellious i can say dat i've bonded wit her and i love her too! (: gd luck for next yr and all the best! ((:

JANIELSON.
my good GOOD buddy! he's my partner for the trip and i've known him the most than the other sec 3 boys. my biggest take away? you've given me a real amazing time and a beautiful extra something to rmb frm this trip. btwn us... ;) thanx for the memories.

ISKANDAR.
haha. you very rock lahh! i can tell u so many things and u can forget everything the next day and dats why u top my list as the most trustable person in Shanghai. thanx for hearing me out when im sad or angry at something. i'll rmb all the help that u've offered since i first knew you for life. (:

MADAN.
this man is growing! all i can say is that, i'm glad u open up and talk to me about ur problems and relationships. rmb my advice and dun give up. always keep that little extra space in ur heart for that special someone. i look forward to seeing u in the future. =D

SAILESH.
he like's to act cool lahh. and he wears the least among of clothing among us. lols. after all, it's SUMMER der!(inside joke.) =p he's also our ring leader. lols. and he's tall. basically, i'm glad u started to talk to me more towards the end of the trip. (:

YAOZU.
hmm.. dis guys. though quiet. i'm still glad i know him and all the best for pure history next yr too! (:

last but not least,
MR KAMAL.
you've given us the BEST experience no other teacher can provide. true to wat u said, at the end of the day, we dun rmb abt the history of europe or aisa, but we rmb those little things that u always advice and touch on. and this trip is the best way to rmb u as a teacher and a mentor. =D

the 10 ppl that made my life the happiest and worth remembering.
thank you for every single second i was der. (:

i look forward to our gathering this sunday!