i still feel very sad bcos i cant upload my pics! ):
i want to show all of you my SCDC ppl, PEARLYN & ELWIN!

ok. i tell you ah. now theres not gonna be anymore changes.
im stayin in SAJC for goooooooood. =/
im gonna stop tinkin bout JJC and move on!

JJ NIGHT!
it was awesome! seeing familiar faces was the best thing that happened after all the alien faces i see in SAJC. LOL. i tell you! there ALOT of crashersss!!! like those not even in JJ for PAE, were there. saw ppl frm ACJC, SAJC, CJC etcetc. omg lahh. i told u JJC is the besssttt! :DDD i almost went deaf with ppl shouting infront of me everytime they see me! hahs.

xin jie: "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
hayati: "AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
xin jie: "AAAAHHH! YOU'RE BACK!"
hayati: "YES YES YES!!"
*BIG HUGGG!!*

hayati: "hello!" (: *tap shoulder frm back*
gadis: "yesyes. hello!" *turns ard*
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! "
hayati: "I MISS YOUUUU!!*
gadis: (too stunned!) *EVEN BIGGERRRR HUGGGG!*

hayati: *waves frantically at ELWIN!*
elwin: *squints his eyes cos he couldnt see*
"HAYATI!!! good dat ur here!!*
hayati: *HUGE GRIN AND THEN RUNS AWAY*
(cos i was toooo excited, faizal knows why!) :D

mass dance was superrrrrrr fun! ((:
omg! dancing CHORI CHORI on stage wit councillors and SHADOWS was WOW!
hahaha. so coool!
how we bang so hard on the stage like theres no tmr.

awesome, amazing! :DDD
i can give u more than one reason why i love JJC alot. (:

when i went back ytd, i was reallyreally struck by alot of things Elwin said.
my presence may not have been felt, i may not have get the acknowledgement i wanted but while we were talking discussing abt the events that happen.. you really inspire me somehow. how u opened up and talk made me realise that seeing things as not the ic but an outsider/advisor really is different. how u comment/praised me was sometin i didnt expect. i was ardy happy enough to hear such things from a senior who had waaaay more experience. but wat made me even more happier was when i saw the SMILES of the campers. i dun ask to be seen/heard but when it comes, it feels nice. "where you're good, you know you're good." it hit me alot. it didnt only apply to the topic we were discussing abt but it was so relevant cos i was tinkin of sometin else.
i know if i'd stayed in JJ, my future was more or less done. but sometin u said also made me determined to stay in SAJC. when i ask you why you join council cos you dun look like the type of guy, and then u simply say, "bcos its a challenging job and i know i can do it." made me realise that stayin in SA is gonna be a BIGGG challenge but if i take it and make the best out of it, i know i'll enjoy. i respect you so much now cos you've impacted my life. in manymanyMANY ways, i've learnt alot even though i only stay for 2 months in JJ. that spirit, the lessons have been instilled and i've nvr regret stayin and then leaving JJ now... (: THANK YOU.

wat made me even happier was that i saw familiar faces like NICHOLAS!
he was so HIGHHHHH!!!
i knew frm the start he'll love JJ! haha.
seeing him was prolly the best thing! :DDD
saw CHAO HONG toooo!!
and this is even better.
cos i nvr knew him as someone who like to dance and cheer.
BUT! he was damn entusiastic and seein him do the chicken dance was sooooo NICE!
we achive wat we wanted! haha.
look how we transform ppl man! (((:
yeaaa!

lol. my eng is soooo bad and my paragraphing sucks!
HAHA.
i so need to improve on this if im to survive in SAJC!

had a niceeee talk wit firqin today!
thanks for hearing me out. (:

SAJC is a nice place to be in once u settle down and FOCUS.
for the first time,
"UP AND ON SAINTS!"
:DDD

its a challenge we have to face and we face it not alone.

i was so glad i met the sec3s to help them with the SHANGHAI ppt.

looking at the pics and slides, it brings back so much memories. the trip impacted in so many ways, good or bad. i cherish the moments so much that when i made the video, i cried. cried alot. cos i knew so much abt others that i never knew. i learnt how things can be different if u CHOOSE to. i'll never forget the times we had. (:

i feel emo. cos i know im not suppose to be at home currently. im suppose to be in JJ preparing for Song Singing Session for the campers. suddenly, i want MrLeow to scold me. i want Pearlyn to pressure me. i want ELWIN to give the encouragement. i want to see the SMILES of my campers. i feel so left out. ): i miss JJC alot. (pls dont give me that "not again" look, cos im ardy tryin my best to not show it) =/ i hope Brenda is doing fine. i feel so guilty for having to pass all my responsibility to her. I CANT WAIT FOR JJ NIGHT TMR!!!!

how we comunicated dat day was appaling. ur ignorance. i miss the matured, deep-in-thought guy i knew you as. i miss seeing that eager look on ur face. i miss seeing you giving me that look cos we both know wat we're thinkin. i miss holding ur hands. i miss you getting mad at yourself. i miss crying infront of you, confessing my thoughts and then i miss your assurance. "what happens there, stays there." at least ur a man of ur word. =\

let me rephrase. its amusing but we both know wat happen on dat fateful day. wat you said to me is still clearly etched in my mind. and out of all things, i can nvr forgive you for wat u said dat day but it has never stop me frm doing other things or you. do you realise that avoding me has only brought us closer? i dun want to beleive that it was retribution, but thats the best way to convince myself. i know u still block me. and i dunno why. but rest assure, we left it where there were still lots of things dat can be said and done. i wish you'd give me that chance STILL.

i feel like crying but i cant.

i didnt succeed in convincing my dad.
he says staying at my godma's house is rediculous.
ok. im sad. ):
but i'll make the most out of it.

its so late and its shit scary now.
i miss JJC.
but, today, later in the morn,
i'll be transoformed.
I WANT TO START A NEW IN SAJC.

i wanted to blog abt so many things but, i rather not.

at 1st, was amusing. but when i saw ur face for the very first time after so long since we parted, was a diff feeling. i felt guilty, remorseful at the same time happy. i dunno. for some reason, i knew it was god's retribution for you. but im tryin very hard to not make myself beleive that that's the reason. in so many ways, i wish you were still mine. ): avoiding me so much has only brought us closer. do u know that? i still miss you terribly. but with you, the loss feels different. i do not cry, it seems so hard to shed a tear -even when i badly want to. and i dunno why. I MISS YOU. damn it.

going back SWISS tmr!!
can see... you-know-who! haha. (:

i've made my choice.
im gonna try my veryVERY best to convince my dad that i'll appeal back to JJC.
if he really dun allow, then i'll try moving on.

ITS NOT THAT I HATE SAJC,
its just that...
i've forged many friendships and memories in JJC.
i just cannt let go. ):

i hope dad allows me to appeal.
i really wanna go back JJC.

i found a seniors blog who was also posted to SA and then appealed back to JJ and he nvr regret that decision till today. somehow, i know god brought me to that page for a reason.

I HAVE GOT TO QUIT HARPING BOUT THIS MATTER.
cos im sick and tired of it too. ))):

i have ONE LAST day to appeal back.

somehow i wish SA's cut off was lower, so i wont be posted der.
get this straight, its not that i hate SAJC.
i really dont!
i love thier uniform, campus, food etc.
and i still am proud to have been der.
but... i really just miss JJC alot. )):

SHADOWS MEETING was soooooo fun! :D
the warmth and company wit them is so damn cool lahh.
MR CHUA treated us pizza hut!
the bill was $200+++.
omfg. THANKS!!
i still feel welcome der. (:
and its not those fake kind of emotions, its really genuine and nice.
I LOVE ALL OF YOU!

I WANT MY TEAM JJ LEADER SHIRT!

ohoh.someone flamed JJ for our orientation.
gdness. other JCs also use water ok!!!
not only JJ. humphhhh. ):

this are people who make JJC so unforgettable. :D

SCDC SHADOWS '08!

look at how happy we are. (:

- and you ask me why its so hard.

i've found a reason to be happy for my stay in SAJC.

i shant say why.

im really tryin my best to fit in.

i bought the sch uni today wit a bit more excitement then i tot i would feel. (:

a million tots ran through my mind, for awhile.

BUT. i know that now im a SAINT.

and today, for once, while talkin to my OG mates, i felt that i was.

i hope.. it will get better. (:

i want to upload pics of my classmates, friends, seniors i've met in JJ.

but, i cant seem to upload them. ):

shadows meeting tmr! :D

I ALMOST SCREAMED WHEN GADIS INVITED ME!

im so happy that most ppl who attend 'o2, found dat JJ was a nice place to be in.

it put a smile on everyones face. (:

to those knn assholes who try to pollute the others, you can go and die.

you can appeal out cos no one cares! haha.

-no one is here by chance.

that helped ALOT. (:

I WILL NOT UPDATE UNTIL I FIGURE OUT HOW TO UPLOAD MY PHONE PICS TO THE COM. ))))): it feels so wrong to update without showing their faces. i miss JJ so much. SA is like soooo cold. =x 1st day was boring. orientation was nowhere close to JJ. =x in JJ, when we say SQUEEEEZE!! OGLs will run, SHADOWS literally fly. in SA, theres one big whole infront of the councillor. in JJ, when we play night games, we DASH ard the sch even if we're fuckin tired. in SA, we walk. in JJ, mass dance was so full of energy and zest, that you just wanna dance even if u dunno. in SA, it was ok. im not making this up. we really have gone thru that kind of training!

i know its wrong to compare, and make judgements. and i should be thnkful that i got a place in SA, but... pls bear wit me and just hear me out for this moment. its not dat i hate SA, i just dun like the envi. its so diff frm JJ. i miss sayin cheers out of no reason at all. i miss the tired faces of my shadows. i miss mass dance. i miss workin wit the councillors. sometimes, i feel that its unfair. after all the hardwork, trainin, scolding just to become a SHADOW, im not there to be one. it feels so differnt planning for a camp, and being in one. it just doesnt feel right YET.

i hope days in SA will get better cos i have no choice. my parents dont alow me to transfer.
i will TRY MY BEST to stop comparing and whine..
and i know firqin will be fuming of she reads this! haha.
but thats just how i feel.
i dun feel welcomed at all in SA.

went back for YOG!!!
if u see us on the news, then u know why JJC ROCKSSS!
cos we are united as hell! and we get high like easily.
our dances so rocckkk. i felt like i truly belong when i was cheering wit them. the fact that i saw SAJC ppl dancing wit us was soooo nice! goes to show that they wanna have fun, but too bad, they just dun have the spirit. when i saw my SHADOWS faces, all welcoming me and hugging me, i was touched! even MR LEOW said: "WELCOME BACK!!!" and pearlyn give that gd effort smile which i really appreciated! ELWIN too!!! the way u shouted: "HAYATIIIIIIIIIIIII!! YOU CAME BACK!!" shock me!! cos, i tot u were too busy to even notice me, but u took that time! :D

BUT..
haha. i'll try my best to BELONG in SAJC.
cos "NO ONE IS HERE BE CHANCE"
UP AND ON!!!
haha. doesnt seem correct YET.

ok! i tell you why JJC ROCKSSS now.
go to this pg:
http://justfaris.livejournal.com/14461.html
its an SAJC student saying how much he enjoyed the YOG nite!
AND HOW JJCians ROCK THE NIGHT!
hahahaha! i teared when i read his entry.
serious!~

me and damien googling ppl abt jj orientation!
soooo fun! i mean it really puts a smile on our faces. (:

JJCians unite,
we show our might,
show them how we JJCians fight!
fighting in the sun,
fighting in the rain,
fight fight fight till we win this game!
JJ, JJ is the best,
we gonna dump the rest into thrash,
we gotta S-C-O-R-E,
we gotta F-I-G-H-T!
JJ is the best,
united we stand, divided we fall.
we wil, we will,
stomp u like a gingerbread
and nvr let u step us back,
step u, step u, ooh la la,
step u, step u whoooooosh!

I'LL UPDATE AS SOON AS I UPLOAD ALL MY PICS!!!
sooo many things to say!

vday was a blassssttt!
-thnks to you! yes you! :DDDDD
i want to have moany more days like this with you ok!

Orientation Group Leader Preparatory Camp
in short, OGL PREP CAMP!
yeaaaa. was awesome/enriching/FUNNNN!
-working every min of the day wit u was even moreee fun!

POSTING RESULTS gonna be out sooon!
i wanna go SAJC cos its my dream!
BUT i dun want to leave JJC!!! ))))):
- thanks for your assurance.

i think ELWIN is cutee!
(HAHA. random!)

hello.
school has been busybusybusy and im lovin it! yup. JJCian SHADOWS rockkk! COUNCILLOR'S ROCKSS MORE! (: ended meetin at 9 today! thnk god MRCHOO send us home cos Yvonne was not feeling well. THANKS MR CHOO! i really hope that 'o2 will be go on very well. cos god knows how much we've prepared. ppl dun realise it but it takes alot alot alot of scarifice and time for us to do everything. oh well. 1st intake JJCians who are not comin back for 2nd intake you are welcome to come for JJ NIGHT! :D yupyup.

ytd, was MASS DANCEEEE!
super last min, like 20 mins b4 we were suppose to proceed to hall, Damien was like looking for another couple to dance on stage. and sooo... he drag me and Faizal!! HAHA. was supper funny lahh ok! butbut.. gd experience. when ur up on stage, you really cannot play a fool and make stupid actions cos ppl on the floor follows whatever you do. haha. was damn nervous lahh b4 dat. been so long since i dance infront of a crowd on stage!! hahs. but, I ENJOYED IT! :D

tmr is VDAE!
omg.. i've not prepared much lahh! )): im super busy since like last wk and i totally got no energy. im gonna buy chocs and i cant wait for sch tmr! hahs. :DDDD

im tryin my best to get over you lahh.
it gets even harder cos i keep gettin reminded. =x
and that sucks...

hearing you talk bout the others is ok..
perfectly fine.
but. i wonder.. =x

ok! no time to be sad.
TEAM JJ all the waaaay!
SCDC SHADOWS gogogo!!!
thank you COUNCILLORS! :D

wokae.
after re-reading the previous entry, i think it was too emo.
so i deleted it! hahs.
cos im not that emo after all! :D

and the reason for being non-emo is because....
i got my new phone!
((((:
HAHA.
shant say wat phone i get or some ppl will say i brag!
idiots. lols.
butbutbut...
im happy wit new phone! its nice!!
hopefully, someone will go, "hey, nice phone!" again when they see it!
haha. gd pick up line right!! haha.
:D

im looking forward to sch tmr!
cos there's MLL & SHADOWS MEETING!
yay! :D
oh wait.
and Faizal has econs tmr! so i can crash wit him.
for obvious reasons...
and thats cos i can see Hisyam!
:DDDD

i always forget wat i wanna blog abt.
ohoh. talkd to JIAYI again ytd i think.
talking to her always brings back NICEEEE memories of Shanghai.
somehow, we always agree on the same things. hahs.(:
so thankful actually for her when she tag along for the *****.
cos w/o that day, there wont be................
haha. cant say wat it is here.

chatting wit suffian.
haha. so glad we are much more open abt alot of stuffs. and he actually give the most sensible & down-to-earth advices.
and oh.
HE'S HORNY!
haha. xD
for eg: who knows wat "i had breakfast for champions this morning" means?
go figure! LOLS.

HELLO! (:
yesterday night was awesome!
haha.

chat wit HISYAM! :DDDDD
omg. hahaha. so very RANDOM.
CHELTTON & FAIZAL was being very patient wit my UNUSUAL behaviour throughout the night. haha. :D
THANKS!

msg SUFFIAN last night and that poor boy was still working at 12+!
omfg. haha.
wanted to tell him sooo many things!
and somehow......
i began to crave for STARBUCKS!

today!
yayyyyy! mum promised to go shopping sooooon.
budget is like $500!
cos im getting my hp and mp3 too!
(((:
haha.
gdbye "shit-lousy-NEC-slowpork" phone!
then went out to causeway with an old friend for STARBUCKS!
yay! :D

i miss AZIMAHHHH!
i was browsing to my photos and found one whole folder of pics taken during band tour 2 YRS AGO!
omg! so looooong ago!

i was reading someone's blog and then i was reminded of SHANGHAI!

haha! this photo reminds me of not only this 2 guys! it reminded me of that awesome ACROBAT SHOW we were about to watch! :D somehow, i couldnt find the freakin video i took during the show! )): HAHA! :D soooo very GAY! lols. ( feat. janielson, madan, sailesh.)

how i miss those times...

haha. im boredboredbored.
lets make a detailed post on wat happen today.

was SUPER late to sch today. made it on time b4 events start. basically, when celebration started, it was kinda high....until MASS DANCE. always always the best! LOL. i'll miss mass dance alooooot. ): then once the rest were dismissed, J1LEADERS had to stay back. thanks wen jing and dave for waiting for me!!! (: then quickly went off to west mall wit wj and dave to mac. had our brunch? hahs. yup. then head back to swiss. i didnt get to talk alot wit mr kamal. damn saaad ok. saw madan!!! took pics wit him, and he introduce me to HABIB! hahaha. the guy we always talk abt in shanghai. saw yaozu also! andddd.... JANIELSON! haha. (: me and wj agree that he's a F****! yeaa! haha. that lil girl, JIAYI nvr come sch ahh! hahs. quite sadded cos I MISS HER LOTS! and i know she miss me too! hahs. (: gonna meet her nxt tues or fri! cant wait! :D

dats about it.
im dead beat now.
so yeahh. i'll go sleep. hahaha.

WHY WE NEVER TALK! =/
add for waaaat ah?
ok. it takes time.
PATIENCE. (:

ohoh.
you were busy!
:DDDDD

omg.
today is a veryveryveryVERY happy day;
although my dear friend LIYANA ps-ed me. -.-
its ok.

CNY CELEBRATIONS & MASS DANCE!
was damn fun. (((:
ok. i saw HISYAM cos his OG was coincidentally near mine!
yay!
so closeeee. that i could have *** *** *** * *****!
BUT. some idiot spoil the fun
and thus, i miss the opprtunity. ):
FUCK.

haha.
but still, happy enough cos got to see him! xD
hahaha. ok. i should really stop it.

MASS DANCE wit JUNJIE!
haha. weird guy! butbutbut.
mass dance somehow always rock!
xD
another reasn i DONT WANT to leave JJC.

went back to SWISS!
yeahhhhhh! NO REGRETS for making that trip.
bcos i saw YOUUUUUUU. (:
hahaha.
it feels so familiar and warmm.
that stare, that smile.
how you look frm the corner of your eye.
even happier cos........
(: OK. is should shut up!

im looking forward to this hols cos i need my much needed rest.
(: loads of things to tie a knot to. =

to my SHADOWS!:
lets work hard for orientation '02! cos we know we've work hard for it! i'll chiong back to JJ if im posted to SA ok! loveLOVE all of you. (: you guys are the only reason why i still go back to sch. hahs.

haha. im feeling quite sad...
BUT. lets talk bout happy stuff.

we were having civis lesson ytd and our discussion topic was like:
"list 5 things you would bring if ur stranded"
this china guy whose name is YUCHUAN who is quite cute
(i tink he looks like JAYCHOU.) haha.
he said:
1) food
2) water
3) knife
4) tent
.
.
.
.
.
5) WOMAN
LMAO!!! hahaha. so cuteeee! hahas.
why do you need a woman on a stranded island?
GO FIGURE. -.-
haha.

after reading AUDREY's blog,
I MISS MR KAMAL too! and his lessons.
history lessons in JJ are so different frm his.
the teacher suck big time!
no interest at all towards the subject.
i really wont forget his fatherly love when we are in shanghai and his little talks and funny antics always enlighten the mood whenever mdm tang scold us. i will always rmb the advices and the care and concern he always had and the little "OPERATIONS" we always have. somehow, it gave a whole new meaning to the trip and in one way or another, he made the trip MOST worth it. i'll esp miss all the meal times! cos its w/o mdm tang! haha. no offence. i still do love mdm tang's company but we had more freedom to joke? haha. i guess so.. shall talk to jiayi one day abt those times. (: i really do miss his motivational talks too! haha. damn funny.

oh. must thank him for the 68% dist for PURE HISTORY! xD

i just realise that the song
TEARDROPS ON MY GUITAR
is b-e-a-utiful. ((:
i emo-ed once i heard it. hahs.

SATURDAY.
games trial was superrrrr FUN! yay! i was wet like nobody's business! good job games comm! (: wet games will be a blast! yayyyy~! was sabo-ed TWICE! by FAIZAL & YINGQUAN. omg. so freezing cold lahh the water. butbutbut! they were sabo-ed back THRICE. :D ok. i soooo love my stay in JJC cos of the SHADOWS! workin wit SCDC seniors and the rest in my comm has been so fun! (: leaving them will be my hardest gdbye. ):

TODAY.
accompanied CHELTTON to queensway. now i know where dat place is. -.- marcus alwasys say he get things frm der and i had no idea. hahaha. IM GONNA GET THAT BRIGHT BRIGHT BRIGHT YELLOW ADIZERO RUNNING SHOES. &&&&& THE ADIDAS SLEEK SERIES SHOE!! haha. went back quite late, den MSN-ed wit JIAYI. i loveLOVE that girl alot. shes like my lil sister. (: i find that we have so many things in common. she's a strong and down-to-earth girl like me! :p haha. no lahh. but we talk bout soooo many things dat it becomes so fun! haha. i know a lot more bout her AFTER i came back frm shanghai. and we both agree on the SHANGHAI CURSE. hahahaha. damn funny. we talk bout boys, jc, sch etcetc. and we both miss the SHANGHAI FAMILY. )))):

ok. my emo part. pls ignore and dun read. ):
i really reaaaaallllyyyy miss you. (not hy.) i dunno for certain reasons i just think bout u alot and it hurtssss. it hurts so bad. its kind of hard to beleive that i'll never see u again. ))): omg lahh. its hard to even beleive that you moved on so perfectly well. talking abt you to others is so different cos they dun see like i do. why is it that when you look my way, it feels so familiar, so warm. so tempting. but when its behind sometin, eg. sms, MSN, you become so alien and i hate that feeling cos i've seen at your best and sweetest and i cant help but just CRY and stare at it. cos i dun even know who you are. i want to tell the whole world that we both had the same feelings for each other ONCE, and we made the best out of it and i've nvr regret giving you a single second of that entire short period we had. we laughed, played, quarreled, argued, talk, everything during dat short period and if only...... it could have lasted. )):