2007 has been a blast and its ending!
though it doesnt feel like it seyh. hahas.
lets sum up 2007 for my final post!

SHANGHAI!!!

going to SHANGHAI is like the besssst thing that happened this year. cos i made freinds wit so many new ppl and i learn to cope on my own in a foreign country so well. and making the bond wit ppl i ardy know even closer. ALL 9 of you would always have a special place in my heart and i hope 2 or 3 yrs down the road, we can still have a gathering and all of us still recognize each other ya. (: MR KAMAL! thnx for being a wonderful teacher both in sch and during the trip. MDM TANG too! thankful that she took good care of all of us! SHANGHAI holds lots of beautiful and wnderful memories that i'll alwaysALWAYS rmb. I WONT FORGET MY SHANGHAI FRIENDS TOO! cos they made the trip even more worth it. ((:

HANYANG.

as much as putting your pic HURTS. i still got to thank you for makinf 2007 very nice to rmb. the times spent together has been really wonderful that i doubt anybody can replace it. but too bad we chose to go our own ways not together. yes, for those who dont know yet, WE BROKE UP. yahh. its saaaaad. but. oh well. i wanna just rmb u as ther person i first fall in love wit. not the person i broke up wit. ur letters and everytin u gaf me is kept and i shall not open it again cos i dun want to remind myself of the past. just thank you so much for helping me through 2007. good luck in whatever you do. (:

(damn it. typing the above sucks cos... )
i dont love you like i did yesterday.

other people, obviously ZIYL!
i dun have a pic of us together cos im using my lappy! BUT. im sososososo GLAD that although we have different classes, boyfriends, family, obligations, commitments etc. we still can just meet up and then talk nonsense and just spill our guts out! the way you all understand and just be there for me when i need it always makes me feel blessed to know i have real true friends who would always be by my side. (: i hope we can still get married, have our kids and still meet up ok! LOVE YOU GUYS: IZZATI, ZIN, LIYANA! *muacks!

not forgetting, 4E4.
yay!! omg. like finally all of us a graduating! can u like beleive it! hahas. o levels was a bitch but we made it! (: haha. look forward to see every single one of you during results! which is in less than a month! =x haha.

MY FAMILY.
ooh. hahs. this year, i think mum and i are like so much closer. (: hahs. hopefully next year it would be better! love all of you!

okok. so i tink dats about it!
some special mentions,
ISKANDAR: ooh. like i always say, U ROCK! thnx for always hearing me out when i have some nonsense to speak. when i cry, when i depressed. all i can say is that, i'll miss not seeing you. never expected you to be like so close to me this year. haha. (:

CHELTTON: omg. so glad we became close friends back. no matter how bad ppl impressions are, i still wanna say that he is a nice man. i am really sorry i misjudged you this year. i thank you for listening to me too and always being a ready company when i feel like all else fails. gd luck with BBALL and HER ok. :D

lastly, SUFFIAN: haha. i dunno how come we were like suddenly so close(friends) but i appreciate it a lot! (: thanx for lending me your ear and wasting ur sms when i cant sleep! hahas. you still like help me out when you dunno the real pic! i hope we wont forget each other and may 2008 bring much more happiness and a resolution/ending for you and ting ok. (:

2007 has past way tooooo fast!
on the whole has been so perfect except for this month. haha. its ok lahh. should always expect december to be a bad month! lols.
but im looking forward to next year. meeting new ppl, finding new friends!
2008! may it'll be a year filled wit so much fun and blessings.
a new beginning to a rusty ending!

with loads of LOVE;
-hayatii.

class bbq was fun! :D
gd time catching up and talkin and all that!
gonna miss every single one of them!
upload the rest wit caption tmr i tink. hahs. ((:

ok! wat a morning!
jst came back frm breakfast wit cheltton.
omg. we have no life lahh. ): hahahas.
gonna go out wit izzati later.
and then.. MOVIE! wit... hahas. (:

i'm tired of putting up a strong front. cos when there's too much going on you just cant do it all the time. i've so many things on my mind but i know im not the only wit it. so i keep it to myself first and try my best to not make others affected.

to you:
who's always been there for me this yr. it feels weird not having you ard. i cannot say that i'm ok and that i dun need you at all. cos thats utterly a lie. i wish i didnt have to go to shanghai if this was wat i have to go through. i know its unfair to you. even more unfair if you really knew wat happen there. cos it was utterly wrong for me to even do it. but, when i was there, i thought so much about you, us and myself. where did both of us stand in each others heart. it wasnt easy to bring myself to reality and assure myself that i too have no more feelings for you. but, the memories have been so beautiful. but it was a vulnerable one. i dun cry for u anymore i just miss the times. the fun. the joy. i really do. i still tire myself till today cos i refuse to tink abt all those times. i've been sleeping so late and waking up so late too cos i know i dun haf to think of u half the time. i'm still waiting for ur PROMISE to happen. you PROMISE and you have 2 DAYS left. cheltton told me to wait. i will. but if u dun fulfill it den f*** you. i feel so defenseless. even dat day, after talking to someone who was close to BOTH IF US, we cant find a reason for ur change. "its not like him to be rude." thats wat we agree on. but... ): i wish you communicate more and you'd have given me a chance you got back frm camp, but it was too late. the same thing happen to me last yr and i really wanted to make ammends b4 the same thing hapens,but it was too late. the letter i meant to give you is still in the box wit so many others. i dun want to wish anymore cos it just doesnt come true. thanx for everytin.

to you:
the one who was closest to me 2 wks ago. its been so long since the days we spent together. everytime, after its over you pretend like im a stranger. it hurts but i cannot do anytin cos we resolved and settled everyting before we said our final goodbyes. i'll always rmb wat u say: "wat happens there, stays there..." and i never knew you meant every single word of it. i wish i didnt do wat we did dat night. i wish i didnt agree to it. cos now, its taking a very big toll on me cos after all im someone who clings to memories and good times. its so hard to see you there but its like as if you dun even know me. its as though NOTHING happen but.. we shared so much while it lasted. gave me so much joy and happiness during the days we had. felt so protected, safe, cared, LOVED. i feel damn sad cos its over and your pretence/ignorence which is so bloody damn good. ):

over YOU.

phew! ok. so tired now.
spent half a day updating the SHANGHAI BLOG!
pls. PLEASE! go to:
www.humans-in-swiss.blogspot.com
and taaag ok! if you do visit!
its not complete ya so keep visiting! xD

OK! one of the days longLONG ago, i went back to band for the camp. wit AMIRUL! thnx for spendin that day wit me! (: here's some pics!















me and HAIKAL. ok. tough u were not promoted, do come back for band as often as u can ok! im gonna miss u and ur babats! hahaha! =D















AMIRUL!! ok. i tink he's waaaay handsome now! HAWT STUFF! haha. thanx for accmpanyin me again! ((:














me and ISKANDAR.
you! thanx for hearing me out when i really need to ok. i wont meet u so much next yr but hope we keep in touch! ohoh! A BIG BIG THANK YOU for keeping my secrets!!! hahas. my deepest, darkest secrets! ahhas. can never thank you enough! i've told u things that i would nvr tell others before! haha. ROCK ON DUDE! my best pal for the past few weeks! (((((:















ILYAS! DO NOT RIP THIS PIC!!! haha.
i wanted to only take photo of my sect! hahs. NOT HER! =x
HAHAHA! ok lahh. i kidding! u can take the pic if u want! (:

OK! i dun tink i'll post band photos! cos i dun tink i look good on that day! haha! SORRY!
but i'll post the pics on the EAST COAST OUTING sooon! haha. ((:

ps: CANT WAIT FOR SHANGHAI PPL BBQ!!!!

ok.
i feel HAPPY! (:
like first time happy since last sat!

FRIDAY.
ok! went out wit CHELTTON TAN.
ahhas. u all might say like "WHAAAAAAAT??!!"
ok. dun get the wrong idea, but we both were longing for company cos we both just. . . . hahs. ok nvm. but the point is we had fun catching up and stuff cos its been real long since we talk. esp this yr afta han yang and zhanglu and all that stuff. so we catch a movie too! and NO! he didnt do anytin funny lahh ppl! (: watch ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS! so funny. sometin to make me happy after all the sad stuff that has been going on. ): boo! then at night, went for chalet! omg! so tired!!!

SATURDAY.

in the mornig, had some amazing race thingy. omg. so fuckin tired... but all i all, was quite fun! made new friends and stuff and i saw abg ciko! omg.. that tall thing! so friendly even after like wat? 5 yrs we nvr talk?! ahhas. at nite had some bbq! then went home. ohoh! was veryVERY happy that day cos of something! hahahas! see! i told u saturday was a day to look forward too! xD the happiness is still lingering! hahs.

SUNDAY.

went to GIANT!
omg. that place is sooooo *&^^%$!! we only shop for so lil stuff and then the bill sum up to be $800+! ok... long story but the cashier made some mistake so my mum got her refund off $500. then went home. ok lahh. i miss out so many details. now chattin wit a lot of ppl. ppl i've always cherish. hahas. looking forward to the last week of hols!! then after that, school!

i try so hard to tire myself out everyday cos i dun want to think about you. it takes so much to just let go. i have to do sometin every second cos if i dun, i'll cry. i dunno wat made it change but we both played the part. i was wrong to have always thought you'd be there. to turn back time is somethin i ALWAYS wish i can. im in no position to say anytin cos everytin is ardy out of its place. i'm over you but it takes time to forget about the memories and heal the wounds. ive never expected it to be like dis. sometin so beautiful, sumtin so precious, sumtin PRICELESS. i purposely sleep till 12 everyday so i know that half a day has passed without you in my mind. i go out and run laps so dat i tire myself easily. i watch nonsensical shows on the tv so that i can fall asleep. every waking moment is hell cos the tears just wont stop. i dunno what else it takes for u to just turn and change ur mind. it feels so cold when i hear ur voice. it feel so distant. i take out every damn letter and memory i had. the tears only start when i read ur reflection during our very first date. so much memories, so long ago. i admit that this would have come sooner or later. but its just so soon. so fresh. so unpredictable.

if there is ONE thing in the world i hate, its gotta be the race and religion.
it divides the human race. it discriminates.
it doesnt even sympathise.
why cant we look beyond the colour of the skin?
why cant we just have the same faith?
i myself ask god so many questions each day.
and everyday, i ask god:
"WHY DIVIDE? IF UR GOD, THEN WHY CREATE SO MANY RELIGIONS."
i know its wrong to question, wrong to ask.
but ive had enough of bearing sometin beyond my control.
i need answers.
i need ppl to explain why things happen.

i just feel so sick and tired.
im tryin to ramble on as much as i can so i get tired and i can just go to sleep without tinkin so much. oh.

I DONT WANNA GO BAND DINNER.
cos theres notin to look forward too. ):
first ever band dinner without the ppl im closest wit.
no azimah, no suffian. bleahh.

i feel so insignificant now.
i hate god but i still beleive him.
i still have faith in him.
but.. IT SUCKS.

UPDATES ON SHANGHAI!!
ok. this is supppose to be their
SCIENCE AND TECH MUSEUM.
dun think its a zoo! lols. xD
it was huge place and everythin looked so pretty!

today was fun!


i totally LOVE my girls.

met izzati and liyana ard 2 and then went JP. had our lunches and then we talk and talk and talk. ok. i soooo love talking to them! told them everything and yup. im so happy i dun have to keep things to myself nimore! it feels so great to share ur probs even if u dun need advice. (: esp wit this 2 girls. walk ard a bit and it feels so good to catch up wit one another and i hope, rellyREALLY hope we do this meet ups once in a while. walked back home wit izzati and had a fun time laughing. OMG. this girl and i can talk about soooo many things. xD I MISS MY LAST SWEETIE, ZIN!

I'VE GOT SOOOO MUCH THINGS TO SAY!

but...

i dun feel like saying anything. i feel damn EMO now.

I MISS IZZATI. ):

besides dat, today was just so.. i dunno how to describe.
i cant feel cos its all too much. i know you'd understand. its been happening since so long ago. but we choose to ignore. missing you? no. i dunno how to go on. how to move. the past few days give me so much space and time to breathe. to think about EVERY GOD DAMN thing. its best if we take a stand and move on. i dun care if whatever happens. i just want, no. i NEED to move on.

DECEMBER is a month of heartbreaks.
every YEAR, something bad happens during december.
and it always happen before christmas. ):

i need something to keep my mind off all these stuffs.
perhaps tmr i look for job? maybe!

SINGAPORE IS LOSING TO THAILAND!
so sadded! )):
under-23s so suck.. =x

i feel so sad.
is that such a thing:
"i love you but i dont like you"?

ohoh!
JIA YI!!!!!!!!!!!
thankk you for lending me ur phone!
I LOVE YOU ALOT ALOT ALOT!

- it takes more that that.
):

Is she faithful to him?
Hell no

But he chose to be with her,
Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on
When you know that girl has a whole wall of 'em just like you

And boy you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Boy use your mind
Don't be just another dime

BecauseI can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be,
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery

I MISS THIS GIRLS! ):

cant wait to see all of u tmr!

i've decided not to update about the shanghai trip.
COS THERE'S SO MUCH TO SAY!!
so, every post, i'll put up some pics that i take ther and story a lil bit.
(u can skip it if u want!)
BUT! i need to remind myself of all those wonderful times! xD

ok! this pretty lady, is ME! xP
haha! no lahh. she's my buddy!
i'll rmb her for FOREVER!!!!
thanx for being so nice. xD










some of the guys!
they were SUPER inquisitive, which made me love them. (:
hahs! they ask me so many ques abt s'pore which i was VERY PROUD to blab my mouth off!










ok. this is during thier P.E ppl!
boys and gals are seperated.
so this period, they were learning ballet stuff!
DAMN COOL right! didnt join in cos they were doing "AMAZING THINGS" wit their legs which i was CLEARLY not capable off! LMAO!

i reall still miss that place!
oh well, ytd! went to ANDREA'S place to do the brochure!
so happy to see all of them again. xD
andAND, janielson's drawing were so pretty!
it looked real man.
have always envied ppl who could sketch and draw so well!

besides that, life is so bored!

p/s: eyy.. i was sincere and i didnt mean to scare u off. =x i feel so evil. least give me a reason ya.

dun turn away. PLS.

I dont hear the music when Im looking in you eyes

But I feel the rythm of your body close to mine

Its the way we touch it sooths me

Its the way we'll always be

Your kiss your pretty smile you know I die for

Oh baby your all I need

And if i lived a thousand years

you know Id never could explain

The way I lost my heart to you that day

But if destiny decide that I should look the other way

Then the world would never know

The greatest story ever told

And did I tell you that I love you

just how much I really need you

Did I tell you that I love you tonight

i wish that night didnt have to happen.

i wish that night didnt have to end so fast.

i wish i could move on so easily as you did.

...

im actually in the library now.
very lazy to go home, although im alone.

i badly want to update about shanghai trip ok ppl.
but i still dunno how to put my experience in words.
):

i really do miss that place like f***ing lots.
more of the ppl actually.
the friends i've made.
the bond we forged.
the shaghai classmates we met.

i'm wishing so much now that my shanghai classmates would come online to talk to me. but i know they're still having thier lessons now. prolly the last lesson for the day. ): must be so super cold there by now. would they still be thinking about me? do they miss me? cos i really do. the hostel we stayed in contains so much memories. tears, sadness, joy, laughter. whatever nots. rmb STUPID PIG? (: first time i saw the other side of janielson i never knew. hahs. rmb how scheming i was? =p rmb all those taitee games wit mr kamal? all those hiding? hahas. i wish somehow, i could just go back to those days...

rmb dat day, when it was damn late at night and we still practising our "ONE PEOPLE,ONE NATION..." item and iskandar shouted "fireworks!!!" wit his eyes wide open? we thought he saw a ghosts? but turn out, i saw one of the best fireworks showcase beside my friends and we all were "ooh-ing and ahh-ing..." amazing eh?

its just so wonderful to feel such a kind of bond. frm ppl u dun really know, or hate, or maybe even strangers. this bond was made between us. its funny how i was so reluctant to leave s'pore on the morning of 25 Nov. scared out of my wits to leave my family... but then, after coming back on the night of 4 dec, i really didnt want to go home. even now, when i see Madan online, i feel so excited and jump at the chance to know how he's doing in India. i feel like laughing when i realise how my views about ke xuan, jasmine and andrea have changed so much btwn 10 days. and then i cry cos i regretted not knowing this side of them earlier. janielson and madan too, i wished i'd known them so much earlier. funny how i always tell janielson during the trip that i've never really realise his presence in sch. and when we're there, we've been the closest freinds i have.

no more sleeping wit jasmine.
no more making act cute faces wit ke xuan.
no more getting scolded frm andrea.
no more calling janielson "jenny".
no more saying that madan's off to get married.
no more jia yi to hold hands wit cos we're feeling cold.
no more sailesh to say that its "SUMMER".
no more iskandar to blab all the nonsense i feel.
no more hearing yao zu speak like dave..

those were the days...

p/s: went back all the way down, just to see you and only you. i hope u realise.

ABOUT SHANGHAI.

before i put up the fun happenings and all pics,
i just wanna say a few things about my trip to SHANGHAI.

it was one heck of a wonderful, meaningful trip.
i'll do anything, ANYTHING, just to return ther wit the same grp of ppl.

i keep thinking about all those times.
in the bus, hotel, hostel, shopping, eating.
we did so many things.
TOGETHER.

im trying so hard to hold back tears cos i miss them so much.
every single one of us "humans". (:
the memories, the times we had.

i badly want to go back to SHANGHAI.
if u ask me. the sight seeing and stuff wasnt that fun.
but the bond that was forged and created among us was so powerful and so strong.

every single one of u rocks in so many ways and i'll ALWAYS keep this lasting memory wit me.

the tears, laughter, joy, angry, unhappy, sleepy, tired moments.
i'll do ANYTHING to be in the place i was 10 days ago. ):

KEXUAN.
girl! ur so cute and i really knew u better in so many other ways after this trip. thanx for comforting me when i was feeling sad on of those days and helping me out ya. i'll rmb u now as not only a classmate but a good friend. rmb? BFFFFFFFFFF! ok. ((:

JASMINE.
hahs. thanx for being a gd roomate this past 10 days. though we quarrel sometimes, i still love u though. and no, you don't snore! hahas. ((: ur so supporting and "damn on" and u seldom care about wat ppl say, and for dat, u rock! (: BFFFFFFFFFF too!

ANDREA.
lols. you. thanx for being a gd partner to gossip and vent anger on. i've known u better too and in the end, i forget to ask u about something i've always wanted to ask u. but still, its ok. i dun mind. (: hope to see u soon aite.

JIAYI.
this girl is so damn cute! a bit rebellious i can say dat i've bonded wit her and i love her too! (: gd luck for next yr and all the best! ((:

JANIELSON.
my good GOOD buddy! he's my partner for the trip and i've known him the most than the other sec 3 boys. my biggest take away? you've given me a real amazing time and a beautiful extra something to rmb frm this trip. btwn us... ;) thanx for the memories.

ISKANDAR.
haha. you very rock lahh! i can tell u so many things and u can forget everything the next day and dats why u top my list as the most trustable person in Shanghai. thanx for hearing me out when im sad or angry at something. i'll rmb all the help that u've offered since i first knew you for life. (:

MADAN.
this man is growing! all i can say is that, i'm glad u open up and talk to me about ur problems and relationships. rmb my advice and dun give up. always keep that little extra space in ur heart for that special someone. i look forward to seeing u in the future. =D

SAILESH.
he like's to act cool lahh. and he wears the least among of clothing among us. lols. after all, it's SUMMER der!(inside joke.) =p he's also our ring leader. lols. and he's tall. basically, i'm glad u started to talk to me more towards the end of the trip. (:

YAOZU.
hmm.. dis guys. though quiet. i'm still glad i know him and all the best for pure history next yr too! (:

last but not least,
MR KAMAL.
you've given us the BEST experience no other teacher can provide. true to wat u said, at the end of the day, we dun rmb abt the history of europe or aisa, but we rmb those little things that u always advice and touch on. and this trip is the best way to rmb u as a teacher and a mentor. =D

the 10 ppl that made my life the happiest and worth remembering.
thank you for every single second i was der. (:

i look forward to our gathering this sunday!

HELLO!
basically, i've been very busy! hahas. SHANGHAI TRIP, shopping, spending time wit loved ones! yup.

GRADUATION TEA!
-let the pics do the talking. that day was so fun! hahas. after grad tea, we all went down to esplanade to chill. hahs. most of the pics are still wit LIYANA!! but nevertheless, here's some! ohoh. the pics are in super random order ya.

with LOVE, :D

hahas. im so put of date wit technology. =/
ok lahh.
very lazy to blog now.
tmr!

• job interview! ((=
• update about my hair! hahas.
• update about GRAD TEA!!!!!!!! "superb fun!

(:

till then.

ADIOS!

it feels so...

things dun always go the way u want it to be. observe people's happiness but never envy. u choose the course of your own life and u decide. u lose the people u love bcos of ur own foolishness. bcos u tripped. u never try to understnad but instead u ignore and pretend.

take back all those words.
take back all those actions.
-i'd do so much, so much more to have it back.
like we always used to.

- as our live change, come whatever.

O LEVELS ARE OVER!!!!!!
(literally lahh! hahs. still got physics mcq nxt wk)

LOLS.
oh well. feel so free! yay!!!
the stacks and stacks of paper on my table would be burnt!
yep! ((:
think i did well for o's but still.
hope hmt can get A1! PLS!!
could have done physics, e.hist and a maths better.
but.. its done baybeh. (:
ohh.. and i can go for the 6 wks in jc thingy.
but kinda like got job i like. ~boohooo. ):

anway.
Things to do!:
1) buy GRAD TEA clothes! :D
2) write some stuff! (:
3) prepare for SHANGHAI TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!
4) learn to do new things. (like DANCING!) hahahaha. xD
5) put some effort in this blog.
6) find a better job.

Grad tea is coming lahh!
cant wait. but gonna be so so sad.
just thinkin of dat day. (((:
love my friends!
the whole malay peeps. (((:

and... SHANGHAI TRIP! (*screams!!*)
its gonna be cold cold cold!
hope it snows or something!
but who cares.
spending 10 days wit MRKAMAL, ANDREA, KE XUAN, JASMINE AND ISKANDAR and the others.
yay!!

ok lahh.
im done!
(:

hey all!
prelim results are out.
hahs. hooray for SS!! ((:
and also english! so unexpected.
but im so scared if i fail e.geog. ):
anyway. one thing i learnt frm this is dat i should have started revision long long ago. its kinda too late now. if only my maths was better, could have gone to JC for 3 months.
but its not too late. really gotta buck up.
made my decision to drop chem.
hahs. after so very long.
should have done it like long ago.

ok moving on.
hahs. call me childish, but i love HSM2.
hahahahs. just fund it so nice.
(: like fairytale like that.
......
the lyrics are like so amazing.
learning to play EVERYDAY on the piano.
yayness! (:

hmm...
been wondering wat i'll do for the hols.
1st things 1st:
SHANGHAI TRIP!!!! =D
cant wait.
wit mr.kamal and andrea and the other gals.
soooo fun!
hope it snows! (((:
and i got loads of other stuff to do.
and plan to go for work.
feel so wrong to plan now.....
cos o's not even over. =.=

also also..
feel so happy for ppl who found new partners.
hahs. i've always like the feeling sharing the joy wit someone.
to those who broke up,
esp fizzah. though i dunno ur story,
i really do feel for u aite. =\

finally.
I MISS BAND! ))):
hais.. kinda feel sad cos im losing the touch.
wherever instituition i go nxt yr, i ardy promise myself not to take up band.
i dunno why but if feel that i've never been entirely happy.
but still,
i miss SWISS WINDS.
-band of the swiss cottage secondary school and command band of the national cadet corp.
hahhahas. feel so nice to repeat that phrase.
(:

ok luhh. notin much to say.
gd night.
and i'll be updating after o's.
thanx for ur omments peeps.

have the sudden urge to blog cos im bored.
kinda lonely now. just wanna say some things.
been a long time since i did so.

hmm.. ever since im wit hanyang, many ppl think dat as if im controlling his life. but i wonder how many ppl really think wat i feel. i know its not wrong to have assumptions but come on.. in class i dun really have gd frens and i agree that it was to a large extent my fault cos i was the one who distant myself frm u guys ever since dis yr. and i do miss some of them.. jazreel, wenjing, cheltton. will nvr forget u guys buying me the germany jersey last yr. (: but after certain things happen things change and we cant help it. hanyang has always been der for me lahh and i thank him for dat. i rarely have dis kind of company. furthurmore, the other mly peeps are in another class, our timetables clash so its not like i dun have frens its just dat we dun have the same free time. and thus, i depend on hanyang. ok. so just spare a thought for me ya?

however, out of the whole thing. im just so so so so SO damn thankful that zin, izzati and liyana has nvr been affected by dis. and dats why i love them. (: the others mighttink dat im neglecting my frens and i do realise dat but the fact that u guys till stand by me, i feel so blessed. (: u guys are really true frens. (:

the point of expressing this is not to gain sympathy its just dat i feel a lil confused. thus, frm now on, i'll try to spend lesser time wit hanyang and more time wit my frens cos i dun wanna lose them. i dun want ppl to think dat i cannot live w/o a boyfriend. cos dats no true. i think i cherish so many ppl i love so much dat i tend to oversee lil things dat matter most to them. sometimes i feel so guilty because i have directly or indircetly broken some close relatioships dis past few months.

its been a long time since i write this kind of things but i just have been thinking. its time to change my priorities which should haf been done long ago. sorry to all of u who have been affected.

anyway. tmr my b'dae! ((((:
so wanna take dis opprtunity to really thank ppl i love love so much! ppl who really make my life worth living.
IZZATI (my most best companion!)
ZIN
LIYANA
-thnx for standing by me and understanding me.
MY FAMILY.
HANYANG.
-u know me best. (:

hello ppl!
ok.. my blgo is so dead. hahs.
seems like im updating only like once a month.
ok lahh. firstly.
HAPPY 6TH MONTH. ((:
im so happy lahh. hahs. nvr tot we last so long.

ok. that aside.
PRELIM IS IN 3 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!
*&%^^%$#@#!!!
so not prepared lahh.
we havnt complete social studies!! ans still having like 2 chaps more!
gosh. and im so scared i fail maths.. ):
anyway. i think i'll drop chem. (although i dun want to.)
so sad lahh. but i cannot hold on to somethin dat i cant do.
or else i'll just waste time and dun do well in other subject.

ok lahh. i actually have so many other things to say.
but nvm.. (:
gd luck ppl for ur prelims!!

wokae. im not suppose to use the comp. but...
hahas.

ok. i feel so tired.
i had bloody cramps in the middle of the nite and i couldnt sleep for 1 hour! beahhs. anyone know how to not have dreams when u sleep? its so irritating cos when u wake up u dun feel fresh. right? ok. wat am i babbling.

ok. schools been a bitch.
i hate ** ***. he like so asshole-mtf-knncb!
that stupid smirk. wateva sia.
ok. lets not talk about him. i cant wait to see the class video!
although my pics are so minimal! lols. but hong ming's face is a classic.
*three cheers to DVP and others. ((:

ok. on a much much MUCH happier note!
HAPPY 5TH MONTH DEAREST.
(: ok cant wait!
although we've quarreled like god knows how many times, and thru all the secrets, lies and whatever nots. we're still here! yayness! hope we'll celebrate for the many many years to come ok? OK SET. (:

ohoh. and i hope im selected for the shanghai trip.
plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls!!
it would be such an experience to end all my secondary edu. wit an overseas trip wit the beloved group of 16(yes, i know its so little) PURE history students. and not forgetting mr kamal. hahahs. okok. i'll stop exageratting.

ok. stop here. and wait.
i've got something to confess.
my spelling suck balls. hahahahahas.

hoho.
im back again.
life so far is like ok lahh. hahs. my prepaid is like so minimal uh the value. ): and i dun have bucks. i wanna buy slippers, tops, jeans, shoes so many things uh. but im so like broke. and dis past few wks, havnet been studying or in other words notin fruitful is happening. i feel so crap. everyday watch tv, play xbox, go out. hais... gotta get back on track.

anyway. just wanna say that ifeel so urmm... blessed? i mean bf is always der when i need him and i know im the impatient one. ytd was really eye-opener. (: i will change ok. for us. anyway, i hate the way ppl look at us in trains. its like so wtf. is it like so wrong to have chinese bf? i mean i know lahh i ever look down on some ppl last time and i admit i am in the wrong. but hte public out der is like so non-understanding. is there such a word? i mean just bear in mind la dat wat u say wont bring us down. ok. its not like those ppl are reading this. lols.

haha. ok lahh. gtg go library now. effort to study!! yayness.
cant wait for o's to be over!

wahass! so looong not in here.

ok.

just wanna say that.....

ok. i dunno. =/

let see...

me and bf are perfectly ok! (:

yay! making our way to 5th MONTH!

yayness. (:

ohoh.

wont be blogging for awhile.

toodles. (:

with so much love. (:

ok. im like finally updating.
and its only cos i really dunno where else i can pour out my feelings.
wtf.

im tired of catching fantasies that non-existent.
i ever went thru dat period whereby i felt so low and broken. and to be only able to get thru dat feeling after almost 2 yrs, i feel so happy, exhilarated, everjoyed. watever the fuckin word is.
but today, to only see myself go back to the old stage,
it just SUCKS.
i dunno whether u still care.
i dunno whether u still want this as much as last time.
im tired of u PRETENDING dat u dunno wat's happening.
tired of u pretending that everything will be ok sooner or later.
tired of every god damn thing.
3 days of almost no communication at all, and u still didn't gif a damn.
god damn it. i miss the old times.
i badly need someone to talk to before i go crazy.
ah.

history repeats. ):

ohew. so long didnt update.
to all those who tag, thnx ya! (:
anyway. life's not so good.
haiz watever lahh.

there's a limit to how much i can take.
u dun want me to say stuff here, so i wont.
but still.
i've had enough.

went back took 187 today.
after dunno how many donkey mins i waited but...
well. not the point yah.
the bus was damn crowded uh. so pissed of.
was thinkin thru so many things.
when somebody msg, no, not you.
kept me calm for awhile.
went back, studied awhile, cudnt concentrate.
dad came back, had dinner.
we talked bout bf and me.
he made sense u know. haiz.
i love my daddy.
hahs. anyway, i've got notin much to say.
im tired.
wont update for quite sometime ah.

"if ALLAH brings you to it, he'll bring you through it.
happy moments, praise ALLAH.
difficult moments seek ALLAH.
quiet moments, worship ALLAH.
painful moments, trust ALLAH.
every moment, thank ALLAH."

i had no intention to post again.
but something just happened.
i waited for u for one whole day.
and yet u stil lhave the cheek to asked.
but hey, im not angry. i said i'll grant it. i did.
hope that's wat u want. and ur happy.

give me the patience.

ive got ALOT of things to say!
9th APRIL.
we got GOLD.
yup. dats it.
but we're happy. (:
ESCAPADE'S the song.
and SWISS WINDS'S the band.
WE ROCK! (:

ok. besides that..
life's not so good eh. argh.
hate it lahh.
last thursday, afta remedial ended.
something happen lahh.
i ardy said the next person dat gif u negative comments abt our relationship, i wont take it anymore. and dats why i reacted like that. why do ppl always come in our way. so wat if we're of diff religion. its not like we're gettin married and both of us have strong faiths. so stop bothering us! its not ur business. and i know ur every teachers pet and everytin so its worse. maybe it doenst matter in ur eyes, but it hurts me alot. why are ther so many barriers. why cant ppl just keep thier mouth shut. STOP BOTHERING US! ))):
totally break down like nobody's business.
and i hate it.
haiz..

haiz. i wanna say alot of things here.
but i rather not.
why have u change. why are u intolerant of my behaviour dis days. im tryin so hard to understand and accept. and ur request on friday. hey, i'll grant it ok. i really will. realise dat i also made sacrifices. i also spent lesser time wit my friends. wat about dat. u nvr tot bout dat havent u. lil things dun make sense to u but to me it makes ALOT of sense. im not gonna say anytin more. at the end of the say i wont gif up on dis relationship cos i wont break my promise. it hurts me to hear u say such things. but i know it has alot of sense. so now, listen up cos. i also want my space. dun platy ard in class cos i want to concentrate. i dun haf brains like urs, so gif me a chance to concentrate. and i know sometime i ask things dat are absurd but now. forget bout it ok. forget everythin i said.

god. i feel so helpless.
):
ok. i'm off.

we did our best.
and that's all that matters.
we rock the hall the way we wanted it.

I LOVE SWISS WINDS!

heya peeps!
i feel so blessed. (:
hees.
lets start frm our 2nd mnth day out aite?

went to Velocity.
and we had so much fun! hahas.
and he bought me dis bag.

~wheee. it was like so ex! =x
but bf insisted luhh.
nevertheless. i love him ok. hahs.

ok. band is great!
hahs. cant wait for SYF.
3 MORE DAYS!
dat day we've all been waiting for.
the results dun matter ya.
as long as we enjoy and give our best
we are ardy winners.
gd luck to MALAY DANCE too!
~wheee! so excited.

CROSS-COUNTRY 2007.
hahahas. so rock!
45th position.
lols. ok lahh. improve by like 20 positions.
but cud have done better.
bf got 13th!!!!
hahas. so proud of him again!
dat boy ah.. always underestimates himself.
at the end of the day always get gd results.

hahs. ok. so today. im so tired.
gonna slack at home.
cant wait for band tmr. (:
hees.
SWISS WINDS GONNA ROCK THE HALL!

-where fate meets. (:

hoho. suddenly got the urge to come here.
hahs. but i haf notin to update.
ok. goin out later!
~wheeee. i miss dat boy so much.
oh ya!

BB 39th COY:
3rd RUNNER UP! (:
for AQ Comp.
hahahas. GD JOB BOYS.
bf was so excited tellin me his adventures.
(: hahas. oh well.
so proud of him can. hahas.

and i guess his too tired.
he sounded so sleepy just now.
so cute! hahas.
so let him sleep lahh. (: hahas.

today:
2 MONTHS.
hees. and so many other mnths to come.
so excited. (:
thnx for always bein der sweetie.
wat others think will nvr bring us down ya.
we know wat we've been thru and notin else matters.
on this day, i cant say how much i want to thnk u ya.
;HEARTS euu. (:

-if it takes the rest of my life. (:

hello world.
ok luhh. not gonna update dis blog so regularly.
(:
BF's gone for AQ Comp.
GD LUCK baby & the other boys.
i know they've trained hard enuf ya. (:

band today just suck.
my inst spoil!
^$%&^$$^!
8 days to SYF and dis.
blahh. i dun want to perform for assembly lahh.
its just so sad. ))):
on a brighter side, we sounded real good today.
yayness. (:

and. hoho.
tmr: 2nd MONTH.
hees. =D
happy monthsary! =)

ok. besides all that.
im so like tired lahh.
maths on thursday totally killed me.
den the 2.4 run.
bleahh. i feel so dead. ):

hah. so many slandering goin on in other ppl's blog.
haiz. stop it ya.
cos it's not right lahh.
i dun do it anymore also.
hahs.

mental note:
passing out in 8 DAYS.
8 DAYS.
8 DAYS.
8 DAYS.
8 DAYS.
gosh. i feel terrible lahh. ):

at the end of the day,
everything about you blow me away.
thanx for bein so patient wit me ya.
im gonna change my ways so that we'll last.
forgive me for the mistake of 4 mnths ago.
i know you're doing ur best in the comp rite now.
all the way ok?
rmb the reward. (: hahs.

i understand. i really did.
why is it that if mine can just let us be,
why not urs.
u know how very much i envy ur life.
and seeing today, i just cant help but break down.
i know dis is a huge barrier we have to face,
but i seriously dun have the energy.
if this werent SYF or the O's year, i'd be more than glad to give my all and pull thru.
just a msg or a ring to give me assurance.
but it took u so long.
i just cant believe u failed to see how dissapointed i was.

-im over you asking me when you know im not ok.

7 MORE DAYS.

yaw peeps. (:
TGIF.TGIF.TGIF.TGIF.TGIF.
alrighty. long time no update.

notin much happen luhh.
just dat im so diassapointed dat im losing dat drive to study.
)))): bahhs.
so difficult to change myself. )):

SYF:
9th APRIL 2007.
1415.
my bigBIG day.
OUR BIG DAY. (:
SWISS WINDS!!!!!!!!
only god knows how hard we've work our asses.
how many shit pracs wit been thru.
and now. 2 WEEKS b4 the day.........
let's KICK ASS AND ROCK THE HALL.
just like we did for SYF '05 & SERENADE '06.
=D

talkin bout band...
I CANNOT BELEIVE IM PASSING OUT ARDY.
i dun want ok... ):
i know i complain alot and stuff but at the end of the day, i still LOVE this band.
the COUNTLESS opprtunities i've got.
priceless memories.
i feel like crying... )))):
its just so sad.
i still rmb CCA orientation, i was looking out for band.
when i first step into the band room.
thinkin of notin else but to put my 1st choice as band.
and ive NEVER regret dat day. (:
; YTWO & SEMBWINDS combine concert.
; Swiss Serenade '04.
; SYF '05 (GWH!!)
-i'll nvr forget the moment we rose as a band and cheer so damn loud when we heard the results. (:
; SwissSerenade '06
gosh... i should stop. im ardy crying.

ok. i really cant continue cos i'll just rant on abt band.
ohk. check out the new song ya.
peace out. (:

nobody wanna see us together,
but it don't matter no,
cos i got you.
;HEARTS. (:

heya peeps!! (:
ytd wasss ffffanntasticc!
hahahs.
i love AUDREY & BF.
and....
HAPPY B'DAE TO JAZREEL TEO YU TING!
=D

ytd, band ended quite late. ):
rush wit AUDREY.
den went to watch the boys played soccer.
hahas. our class won! ((:
nice saves by ahem! =p
lols. chatted quite alot wit audrey.
hahs. I LOVE HER! yupyup. (:
she ROCKSSS!

after the game...........
dinner-ed at SWENSEN'S. (;
hees. thanx bf!
nice nice time spent. ~lalalas.
goshh. i really wish i have time, den can put pics!
but too bad i dont. :p

this wkend is spent LIKE SHIT.
haahs. nvr accomplish anythin.
sedeh kn~... *wails!*
but. my fault. too cooped up reading HARRY POTTER.
hahas.
looking forward to next wk.
wk10!! and den BREAK! ~wheees.

dad wants me to get 5 distinctions! =x
diediedie.

ok bahh. notin useful to update.
did i mention. TRIGO SUCKS.
dieTRIGO.
D-I-E. muahahahahahaha!!!!

hellooooo! (:
ok. so looong since i update.
busy lahh.

this whole week busy finishin up stuff and files.
tired!! ):
but anyway. everytime bf try to cheer me up. (:
ahhas.
anyway. i'm like bloody disappointed with chem test.
i wanted to like score!!! *ROAR!!!*
but bloody shit. i barely pass. almost teared.
but on the bright sad, thought me to dun be too confident.
and STRIVE HARDER! hahahs.

wat else wat else?
ohhh.. SYF coming up!
sooo excited but kinda scared.
we're not der yet.. and der's dis BAD feeling.
)): haiz. msut add oil le..
everybody is always tired and stuff.
but lets not give up.
SEC 4s!! our LAST year leh. jia you!! (:

okok. i got like pics to upload but veryyyyy LAZY.
ahhhas. sorry ya.
ok lahh. shall go now.
byez! (:

5 MORE DAYS! (:
~wheee!

-to look into ur eyes and see u looking back.

ahahahs. i cant keep my hands off the comp.
ok firstly. ytd.
HAPPY BDAE TO LIYANA!!
(: whees. dahh 16 sehh. hahs.

ok.lets re-edit the entry. cos im damn bored!
okok. i really miss my pri sch frens!
how long has it been? 3/4 yrs??
i saw harith. the curly-wurly hair-ed guy.
hahas. hes effin tall and KINDA hot! hahas.
omg lahh. we still recognized each other. (:
haha. and hes a proud man of ahmad ibrahim sec.
LOLS.
i miss nash, fauzi, farah, ragu, nick, elia, nina....
EVERYONE! just name it lahh. gosh.

saw mrkamal during lunch.
he said: "romantic ya?" =.-"
PAISEH CAN?? hahs. he's such a cute teacher.
history lessons are like lifeskill class.
we learn sooo much man.
no wonder most of us are like fanatics.
history camp anybody? eliminate bio ppl! LOLS.

andand. did i mention.
durin CNY celebrations..........
I SAW ERIC SOR!!!!!!! (:
hahs. me n audrey goin nuts. hahs.
bf talk to him lahh. cos senior mahh. ):
so unfair. but anyways... he's cute. hahs.
me: audrey!! eric eric!! der. over der!
pradeep: huh? who's eric? superstar ah?
diao... im like: "der der! his picture on the banner!"
hahs.
andand.. got some sing along session lahh.
and the boys were lookin for ms beetsma. hahas.
so funnnehh. x)

ok lahh. now i tink my entry more exciting?
hahs. lookin forward to tmr cos can SLACK!
hahs. yayness. (:

ok dats all folks!
~adios!

-for US. (:

life sucks lahh.
had a bloooooooody long chat wit dad. ):
ok lahh. watever.
besides dat VDAE was funnn!
hahahas. enjoyed it soooo much! yayness lahh.

okok. ppl! SEC4 life suck ballss ok!!
so sad.. i have no life. dats rite ppl.
u study everyday and live in fear... hahs.
im like only 60% prepared for the differentiation test tmr.
bloody hell. so rush!! ):
dats sad.. cos dat will mean one test failed for this semester!
bleahhhh! i'll try to squeeeeze watever brain juices left.
and at the same time, prepare tmr's game.
how sucky is dat... ):
nolifenoLIFE.

andand..
to someone ah. sorry if i like very rude when i talk to u. cos sumtimes just cannot look u in th eye lahh. very heart pain. but yahh. sorry lah. i try to change. and be friends back la. and u dun so angry to HY also lahh. he not at fault. SORRY.

heyhey ppl!
okok. i think dis is my LAST entry until after o levels.
(: just wanna say dat im very happy!!

i got A1 for malay o level!
~wheeeeee! =D
hahs. so happy.
and my dear dear ZIYL'S all scored DISTICTIONS!
so proud of em!! (:
yeahhhh! zin if ur readin dis, u got A2! congrats gal!
even with ur comas everywhere, ur effort pay off!
hahahs.
so happy dat i hugged someone immediately!
hahs. A1!!! one bloody subject cleared!
=D
congrats to junyang, jazreel, fathin also.
hahs.
im imagining myself like
if only i can produce the same grades for o levels dis yr for the rest of subjects.
wouldnt it be great??!
so gonna work hard! (((:
cannot imagine myself during this time of the year,
queing up waiting for my result.

and and.
congrats to seniors too!
valarie scored 10!!
vanessa top student! (:
whooo. (:

o0k gtg chiao!
~adios amigos! (:

words of a wise man:
imagine u are queing up waiting for ur result to be given out by ur teacher, u close ur eyes den suddenly a genie appears infront of u and grant u ONE wish that u can't choose. the genie says, "i'll push u back in time one year ago so that u can redo ur mistakes and get a better result."
you open ur eyes. now u are here.

what would u do?
take the chance or throw it all away?
;)
-history lessons rock! (:

ok. im updating dis blog like nobodys business!
BUT. nobody tags me. ahhhas.
only faezah entertains me. haha.
told ya MAKCIKS rocks! =D
nvm lahh.. i'll talk to myself. hahahs.
but if der are ppl out der reading dis, PLS tag ok?
cos i love it when u do. u can diss me if u want to cos my tagboards so blank. least i know got ppl reading rite??? yepyep. but i know u all love me so u wont diss me rite.. hahhas.
*hmmmm...*

today super duper duper rocks! (:
if only every single day was like dis...
i'll be on cloud 10! ahhas.
thanx to youYOU. =D
band was alright. tiring to repeat over n over again.
but for THAT GWH,
i dun mind!! so does the rest too!

anyway. i tink i'll come clean wit my dad bout my current life situation.
cos i tink he read dis blog too. =x
but i just scared he scold. scary sia...
but i just want to be truthful and stop all the lies.
feel damn bloody guilty lerhh.

to you-know-who:
i really dun undstnd u. why do u still talk bad about me and talk about me to others like as if i'm ruining ur life. i thought we ardy said sorry and stuff. but why u start again? if by any way, i've hurt ur feelings again after we apologize dat day, den im sorry and pls tell me wat i did. i bear no grudges against u. its just dat i dun talk to u bcos i just dun want to, der's just notin to talk bout. NOT because i hate u. i swear i've stop talking bout u behind ur back. i dun gif a hoot about him anymore. serious. haiz..

we humans can be so hypocritical eh?
i also feel like im one also sometime.
saddening luh..

anyway. some ppl think dat im desperate.
and its just bcos after i broke up wit marcus, im seen wit his fren.
=.="
scary sia.. cos dats wat junwei said.
i wont scold dem lahh, cos sometimes i also say ppl anyhow.
butbut. look beyond the surface ok? pls ppl.
the real facts are burried like 100000km under the earth.
the only ppl who knows the real facts are
ZIYL, marcus, bowen, junyang.
DATS ALL. so dun anyhow say i desparate!
cos its depressing and saddening! cos im not!!

ok.. i think i crap like alot eh.
ohoh. AUDREY! sorry for disappearing like dat w/o the compo.
)): i'll complete for u yahh. so so SORRY.

aite. gonna do compre.
adios amigos! (:

Everytime i see your face,
Everytime you look my way ,
Its like it all falls into place,
Everything feels right.
Ever since you walked away,
You left my life in disarray,
All i want is one more day.
Its all i need one more day with you.
Now im sitting here ,
Like we used to do
i think about my life,
And how there's nothin i won't do,
Just for one more day,
One more day with you.