i try so hard to tire myself out everyday cos i dun want to think about you. it takes so much to just let go. i have to do sometin every second cos if i dun, i'll cry. i dunno wat made it change but we both played the part. i was wrong to have always thought you'd be there. to turn back time is somethin i ALWAYS wish i can. im in no position to say anytin cos everytin is ardy out of its place. i'm over you but it takes time to forget about the memories and heal the wounds. ive never expected it to be like dis. sometin so beautiful, sumtin so precious, sumtin PRICELESS. i purposely sleep till 12 everyday so i know that half a day has passed without you in my mind. i go out and run laps so dat i tire myself easily. i watch nonsensical shows on the tv so that i can fall asleep. every waking moment is hell cos the tears just wont stop. i dunno what else it takes for u to just turn and change ur mind. it feels so cold when i hear ur voice. it feel so distant. i take out every damn letter and memory i had. the tears only start when i read ur reflection during our very first date. so much memories, so long ago. i admit that this would have come sooner or later. but its just so soon. so fresh. so unpredictable.

if there is ONE thing in the world i hate, its gotta be the race and religion.
it divides the human race. it discriminates.
it doesnt even sympathise.
why cant we look beyond the colour of the skin?
why cant we just have the same faith?
i myself ask god so many questions each day.
and everyday, i ask god:
"WHY DIVIDE? IF UR GOD, THEN WHY CREATE SO MANY RELIGIONS."
i know its wrong to question, wrong to ask.
but ive had enough of bearing sometin beyond my control.
i need answers.
i need ppl to explain why things happen.

i just feel so sick and tired.
im tryin to ramble on as much as i can so i get tired and i can just go to sleep without tinkin so much. oh.

I DONT WANNA GO BAND DINNER.
cos theres notin to look forward too. ):
first ever band dinner without the ppl im closest wit.
no azimah, no suffian. bleahh.

i feel so insignificant now.
i hate god but i still beleive him.
i still have faith in him.
but.. IT SUCKS.