thinkin bout himm..
haix.. so down man..
dunno wat can boost my spirits..
himm..? hais.. dun wanna tink bout it..
let me just write one LONG entry bout my feelings n when its all said and done, maybe i'll get beta..
the feeling for u now is begginning to grow again..
dunno y.. so many feelings..
tink i hate himm more den i like him..
but y i still cannot let go..
its no one fault.. its just me..
y must i even decide to like him in the 1st place..
y was everything planned like dis..
i hate the way u avoid lookin at me..
i hate the way u dun even greet me..
i hate the way u dun talk me..
i hate the way u make me feel..
memories..
haix.. maybe dats just the thing dat holding me..
i wanna move on.. be happy..
those memories make me happy..
cos it's the only reminder to me dat i ever had u..
n it hurts me cos noe all those thing can't happen again..
HURT.. is the bigger thing..
yes, it was short..
but did u noe it was one of the best times of my life when i was wit u..
notin... n i mean noting cud ever bring me down den..
every next skoolin day i look forward..
knowin dat u'll gif me dat one smile dat can just illuminate me more..
i feel so stupid to still hold on to u..
*6 months*
all gone.. not dat we're togeder or wat..
i mean 6 months of me linkin u.. (still goin on)
it was no stupid crush. it was pure "love"..
no, maybe not love.. just a deep liking for u..
every nite, just stare at ur msg u send months ago..
knowing its meaningless, but still stare at it..
like gundu.. den cry.. *useless*
yess. i noe.
try my best look all happy n cheery everyday..
but everything was just a fake..
now.. i dun wanna be fake..
i wanna be ME..
dun care i like him or not..
if i wanna like him, i noe i must be strong..
if not, must let go..
but letting go takes more strength..
rite..?
eh, no.. maybe he's sweet..
he'll be ever so sweet..
yeahs.. =)
dunno lar.. think dats it..
before i cry even more..
feel much beta..
hais..
-i want u back-
)=
-i'm nuts-
=l
-HAPPY B'DAE TO FATHIN-
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