its soooo late ardy and i cant sleep.
toot.
im emoing/ missing a lot of ppl. ):
sadSAAAAAAD.
the only peron talkin to me is SUFFIAN.

how nice. (:

i miss *********.
ok. go figure. but miss him lots. LOTSSSS! ): until i feel very sad. and thats not like me! sigh. its just hitting me hard. and i dunno why. the saddest things is that i would NEVER see you again after this and it bothers me alot cos i've shared a part of me wit you and somehow it gets so hard to just see you walk away. you know when i last saw you the other day? the smile that u gave was just so familiar that it automatically brings me back to that day when we first had the best times in each others company. so comfortable it seems. it was that simple and nice. i'd do ANYTHING. to rewind and just let it pause there so that i dun have to deal with the fact that it'll NEVER be the same- with or without you. ):

i miss HANYANG.
ok. screw me. go ahead and say whatever you guys want. i just miss having the company. like you know, when u have bf, u can just like pick up the phone whenever ur sad or anyting. and the best thing is, u NEVER feel lonely. its just feels so nice. but when this comfort/happiness is reap frm u, it hurts. IT HURTS REAL BAAAAD! its like and empty spot. it like so weird. and then, talking to you nowadays are like the cold winds in shanghai. so "brrr.." wth. and hate this feeling too. i dun miss him cos after whatever you did, i dun tink u deserve it, but i just miss the COMPANY. thats all. its different to have this kind of company and the kind of company with you friends. it really is. ok. go figure. or maybe.. like FAIZAL said: "u just like to be loved." oh well.

i miss ZIYL.
yes, yes. all 3 of u. ZIN. i heard ur having probs. so do call me ks. nana! i suddenly feel like telling you alot of things. izzati! u know me best, and i looook forward to the next time i see u! hopefully SOOON.

i miss SCSS.
yes. i take the train to boon lay to every morning and i see swiss, i feel like alightin at gombak and just sit there. i duno why. it seems so routined, that passing by that place brings ALOT of memories. 4 yrs of schooling there le. its so OMG. SO FAST!!!

i miss MY SHANGHAI FAMILY.
i was sorting out the photos and then, i came across my shanghai photos! how i wish,WISH,WISH i can go back there with all 9 of you. and then i go to the dusty blog and i almost teared. its truly amazing how we bond and just find solace/comfort wit one another. i suddenly feel like bitching abt some random thing to jasmine or kx or andrea. i dunno. the feeling is sososososoSOSO weird. i cannot beleive that the trip impacted so much on my life. i just miss the fun and the laughters. i miss MRKAMAL's lesson. i seriously do. i plan to take up history and go back swiss to teach after my a's. (: REALLY.

at the end of it, i really feel like crying. ):

i REALLY hope it pays off.
but. IM PREPARED.
for rejection/acceptance. ):