hey.. so long time nvr blog.
been busy studyin. hai...
is no more her.
she's sumone else.

im TIRED.
tired of everytin ard me.
for so long i haf not lamented bout my life.

first thing:
i feel bored of listenin to ppl probs.
i know i sound abit sellfish but dats how i feel lahh. im alwaes at the receivin end like as if i dun haf my own probs. so now my ears are reserved for very very special like ZIYL, 3E4 peeps, my adk angkts and my family. im anti-socialisin. i wanna disconnect frm everybody cos im just too exhausted. sec3 life just prevents u frm doin anytin anymore.

2nd thing:
Band. i broke down while takin sectionals. ders just so many odds against me. not against me but my dreams. mayb only kenneth understand dis. well, so be it. i still wanna say it. its just dat wat do u do when the only thing dat u love all ur life starts to turn its back on u. wat do u do when u just cant do anytin bout ur dreams. wat happens when u tried ur best but it just doesnt work. WAT HAPPENS WHEN WAT U'VE BEEN WORKIN SO HARD ON GIFS UP ON U. if the whole sect wanna quit. i dunno wat to say. i feel so much for band dat just when i want to releive lovin band the way i used to, everytin gets so so wrong.

3rd thing:
ZIYL. we need to talk. dats it.

4th thing:
dis few wks i duno why but i keep thinkin bout dat VERY old past. it just gets back on u everytime u try not to. i feel so exhausted. if only we cud go back in time back to when i didnt even know u at all. den mayb things wud be diff. ive passed the point of lovin u n hatin u. im just thinkin wat went wrong. cos it wasnt just all about u, but afta everytin disappeared my life too wasnt the way it was. like izzati said, why cudn't it be simple. like a b c's...

5th thing:
and to add to all dis. its true. sumtin has made a big impact on my family. i dun wanna say it hear. only iz know bout dis. but i just hope things dun take a turn for the worse. it happened before. NEVER wud i wanna go through dat same pain n wrenching period wit my family.

BUT. sumhow... ive been studyin better. haha. when i'm stress-free i cant study much but when im in dis state, i study better. i really hope i pass trigo test and physics or i rathe go n die. =x ~bleahs. such a loong post. stop here. bye.. :