helo.. my legs achin like hell! grr.. ytd started out real bad. *paiseh* hahs. niwae, marchin was bad. the feild was blardyly not even n the place was god damn big! urgh.. wad de.. but den afta dat eat at lot 1 den go home, ruch met my sis.. woow. fun lar go out wit she.. n den i cried. god. con fusin thing was dat i dunno i cried for what or who. hahs. mayb, i do haf a sad life. hurhur. hahs. den today had religious class. boring llike hell. hahs. den went home. dem im here. wanna do hmwk. n wanna put song in here.. but angelfire condemed rite? hahs.. k nar~ wanna go..

-gawd! 2 fringgin days.. *warning* my feelings do fade. hurhur..

Elooo.. hahs. todae was bad. hell. i hate band just for now. it tires me out n wat wit all dat marching. grr.. i got no strength. n the blardy two guys frm my sect leave like dat. haiz.. but niwae, lookin on the bright side, my junior can play Tijuana Brass!! WOOW! i so happy seh see him play.. dat time teach AG12 like hell still cannot get. hahs. niwae, had IPW. gosh.. all last minute work.. hehs.. the judge was a pathetic 2. wth.. but nvm. guess zelda was happy. =) n my members too. we did a gd job.. my vanguard was nice. =)) okie. den i think life now is blardyly bad. bad like hell. its not i wanna be rude to my parents lo.. just at sumtimes, i cant take wat u gif. ardy my life aint gd den u keep siding the young. gosh. wth. gettin abit pms-y.. hurhur.. but i tink now i very brave lar.. im not scared of talkin back.. like for example nazri. who the hell is he to call me "anak setan".. so i told him off. heh.. k nar~ wana go byezz..
p.s: the icon. so true.. lols. sumtime a girl just needs one.

no offence lar.. but think for very hard. is he the one? is he goin be like the other jerks tryin to break me up. hell. why am i havin dis feelin..? almost fought wit him lar.. wth, wth.. how come like dat? he like dat i rmb abt last time sia.. fight all bcos of adek angkts.. wth. i dun want. im tryin my best to compromise. but am i expectin too much? haiz.. nvm.

had confession table just now. great. well at least. other then dat. the day was okie. how i wish the class was more exciting during lit. grr.. its fun lar actually. just too mundane. hahs. k narh.. wanna go. byezz.~

heloo... today was really okie. forget abt ytd post.. today go skool w/o iz n took bus. go skool, assembly n stuff den when wanted to go up class.. den iz's crush say sumtin stupid but funny.. hah. how he know i oso dunno. nvm not the point. mr sharizan was boring!! hahs. MR LEE FALL ASLEEP IN CLASS!!!! Laugh ppl. laugh! LOL!! a teacher.. hahs. nvm. dat shows how bored mr zan can be.! oh wells.. den pe was okie. no girlfight.. hehe. den recess was okie. den mt was okie. mubin ass lah he.. stupid sia. den otw back to class.. i turn2 den saw him lookin at me.! hahs. okie. well, maybe at least i think he was lookin at me.. *crazy* hehe.. den maths was okie. funny lar.. jy suddenly talk like gal. gawd..! seriously funny. band was okie. stress like hell. i mean the pain n stuff.. i hate goin band lo dis days.. dun feel the enthusiasm.. no meritocracy at all in band. hurhur.. nvm. den went home. he msg all the way. den saw ramdan.. so short sia.. but funny lar.. i tot who sia call my name at nite.. den chat for awhile. den go home. eat. watch tv n here i am.. hahas.. i'm crazy today sias..heh. no lar. just dat wanna be happy for those lil things dat happen.. after all, dey do make me feel happy.. hehe. k narh.. wanna get some sleep.. ~cheerios..

I HATE MY MUM!!!!!!!!!
I HATE MY SIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE MY BRO!!!!!!!
I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

argh.. kill me yeah sumone. my presence is really, seriously of no use. no use!!!!!!!! just kill me lar if it makes the whole world happy!!! everybody hates me right?!!! so common. kill me. i hate myself lar!!! i dun gif a fuck wad oders think! everyone want to hate me. den common. hate me! argh!! fuck all ur asses frm my world yeah..!

-where is him when i'm needing u the most??? =((((((((((((

eloooo.. hahs. just got back frm religious classes. i havent finish my hmwk seh.. hahs. but im sittin here. oh well, i shall get started shortly. haiz.. BORED! grr.. niwae, life so far been gd. not wat i wanted but okie. contented. (= urrmm... f*r is really lar.. very nice but i'm not appreciatin. hmm.. wats happenin.. *him.. haiya.. i've given up. dun talk more lar.. he's happy wit her so be it.. okie. i noe im talkin crap. tink dunno wat else to write. mayb i'll write again at nite.. ~toodless.. =)

oh gawd. i'm bored lar. a few days back was racial harmony.. heh. i shud haf worn. but my class pathetic like hell. oni jy wear. hahas. but nvm. nxt yaer, we'll have our permanent classes n mayb i'l wear. kekeke.. hahs. i so luv the upper secs man.. so united de. hahs. niwae, had band but didnt go . tired n was not feelin well. hahs, but ard 3 like dat met siti, azimah n saki. pass thigns den went back. wat a waste of time. haha. den tot want to wait for him till he come, but too long lar. so ignored n went back. hahs. i'm evil lar. hahs *grins evilly* tmr got religious class. oh god. help me frm the boredom. hahs. everyone think dat thier skool is the best n when i try to say sumtin bout swiss, they alwaes fight n fight until i dun care lar. haha.. n the classroom alwaes gif me headache. n the boys dunno how to make jokes. n some frens are to busy finding popularity.. lol. okie. ders a dumbass chattin wit me. dun wanna talk too much wit him although his dumb. or not sum peeps say i flirt.. enough of ppl sayin dat i flirt lar! hahas. k narh.. dunno wat else to write. byezzz...

"i promise to nvr fall in luv wit a stranger.."

oh well. today was okie. i guess. hahs. skool was okie. ipw in the com lab was interesting. hahs. band was okie. speech day rehearsal was embarassing. ate at mac afta dat wti azimah, siti n saki. den met adi, alif, din, fizzah, zin, iz. went back at last wit iz. boring lar today.. i need some spice.. hehe. f*r is just so nice by the day. but... haiz. dun say here lar. n today got sumone talk to me n see me straight in the eye! ~weehaa!! happy. didnt talk to him though. uh.. who cares.. the combo band very nice.. i mean the song.. zhi hao pro sia.. *salutes* hehe. not like KN.. wahahas.. k nar. wanna go.. byezz. =)

-everybody loves somebody.-

okie. today was nice.. lucky infact. when skool was okie n stuff. no scoldings nothing. yeah. went home, suddenly wished to take the bus bendy.. den prayed lor for fun. hahs. n den it came! hahs. i took a bendy bus home. hahs.. okie. dun blame me. my area dun haf bendy busses frequently.. heh. kk. den wished HE was der. n he was! hahs.. gawd! how lucky can i get.. den we walk togeder den he sent me back! ahhss.. life's nice. u noe, tink dun wanna care too much. been feelin gd since i look at things differently. tink stop here.. got sumtins to do.. byez.. =)

helo.. hahs. today was nice. =) ahas.. had parade.. much better den the clt thingy.. hahs. niwae, saw him AGAIN! hahs.. funny lar.. i see him, he nvr see me, he see me, i nvr see him.. think he sad ba.. hahs. den he ajak me go jp i was like huh? hahs. tired lar.. n we ardy had dinner. the food damn nice. hahs. den got suntin funny.. saw dis guy. dunno wad de hack the skool but we were queing up for food n he ask me:
(in eng)
guy: wat skool?
me: huh?
guy: wat skool?
me: swiss cottage
guy: wat sec?
me: 2
*guy points at my rank* (btw, he was a LCP n i was a 1st sgt, wahaha..!)
n we continued.. hahs. lazy wanna type.. but i was proud of my rank. hahs.. no offence ya but all dis ncc ppl tink we're crazy ya.. haha. haf high rank but no badges.. hehe. but dat guy not bad u noe.. one of the GOH(guard of honour) summore. hahs. so shuai.. den he tot is we ncc den training is play music oni. but i xplain lar dat we r in band but play for ncc.. hahs.. okie2. tink stop here.. hand aching like hell..
byezz.. =)

"Have You Ever?"- By Brandy

[Chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
[Chorus]

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
[Chorus]

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you into my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
[Chorus]
___________________________________
u noe y the "s" guy doesnt appear in my entries. cos i wanna forget him. but i cant. haiz. today. wasnt gd. afta band, was happy. dun ask me y but i was god damn happy until........ we went to mc. k fine, so dey were der.. haiz.. dun wanna go futhur ya.. just writtin those few words heart ache sia.. niwae, afta dat, go collect harry potter bk.. hahs. LZH ardy msg me early in the morn. crazy lar.. hehe. niwae, despite off everythin dats happy today, i'm still sad. i'm dat sad until i havent even ate anythin since i got back.. niwae, hearin to persis. the sad part.. wa liao.. wanna cry sia.. the french horn n eupho n cornet n sax n everythin so nice.!! hahs. k narh wanna stop here.. oh ya, the song. like ti so blardy much.. haiz.. =(

elo.. hias.. dis is anoder pathetic entry. rite now, at dis moment, ders notin happy to talk about. dis is wat im feelin:
-i wanna scream i cant cos mums asleep.
-i wanna cry but i've ran out of tears.
today was okie. maths test. one word. fail. haiaya.. actualy hope not ar.. sucks de loh the test. niwae, afta skool, went out wit zin, rudy, yana n din.. go back halfway cos u y? i cudnt bear to see they wit each other more.. sad loh most of the time.. hais.. not thier fault. niwae, went home. was feelin sianish n it was raining. decided to take my bro.. it was raining heavily.. so whole journey, pray dat i'll see him. when go home. der he was! playin soccer.. hahs. wat luck. happy at 1st but den we didnt talk much. he seemed angry. dunno y sia.. hais. nvm. k narh.. wanna sleep.
byez..

"to love, to cherish, to care.."

i'm feelingless. urgh.. y? everyting was gd until...... argh. dun wanna say it. saw him. him. HIM. yes. not f*r but my ex. sheesh.. i like, but sumtins missin.. *memories. talk to him for awhile. wanna catch wit old times but dunno y, my leg didnt wanna stop. his smile.. argh.. better stop here ar f*r would be angry. haiz.. wat am i turning to? went to wdls lib, wit, din, yana, iz n alif.. saw my cousin uh.. not bad not bad. hahs.. tink i'll stop here.. wanna say more but haiya.. keep it for nxt time.
wish, my life was better.. i dun see any light infront of me.. i feel like everythin is just beginning. JUST. i'm tryin to be patient. very patient. haiz.. forget it or ill cry again. ~toodles..

i got loads to do but i cant get workin. grr.. ipw's a killer i tell ya. smack the damn teacher who started dis.. grr. okie. i take dat back. niwae, how hartless can ppl get?? grr. NKF really uh..! i'm very disgusted.. urgh..! dey get i tink like almost ardy $1000 frm my family since they started n now they do dis?! grr. damn u CEO! its like all our efforts gone! gone!!! grr.. n dat women can say its PEANUTS!! wanna RIOT liao!! GRR.. so sadded. RIOT ARH..!! argh!!

niwae, today wasnt all bad. haiz.. dnno wat to say.. "we are the ones dat cry n bleed inside" no one would beleive my advice and say its bullshit. well, fine. i noe myself too well. okie arh. wanna go. *memories. how i luv dem.. or maybe, how sad dey make me. haiz.

oh gawd.. i regret. grr. saw him. him. HIM. argh. how i miss his company.. grr. but thank god. god answered my prayers. i dunno wat to say. one moment i feel like cryin. one moment i feel so positive to cary on. i dun undstd. dun wanna feel. dun wanna noe. dun wanna think. i've had enuf. i'm tryin my best to make f*r happy. but i dunno y, i regret. no. i dun regret. its just dat he's too nice. too nice for me. =(
to nobody basically: just wanna tell dis. its hard enuf to let go of sum1 u just want to luv. its not easy. nvr easy. i noe how it feels to see sumone who's the man of ur dreams walkin off wit sumone else. yes, we are at fault for breakin thier hearts, but we are the ones who have actually really found the courage, the strengh to move on. we are more knowledgable about dem. trust me. dis type of women, may seem happy, but they cry n bleed inside. they are strong. 3 cheers to this women. *smiles weakly*
okie. dat paragraph. read it sumwhere. so wat i feel. haiz. go figure. i'm too confused. lost i must say.

helo..b4 i start! go listen to BSB's NEVER GONE!!! nice like heaven..! hahs. i cudn't beleive i cried when i 1st heard lar. hahas.. decate to him n him. hahs.. its a secret lar.. cannot tell who. haha. niwae. didn't go skool today.. whole body was aching like hell, had headache n slight fever.. hahas. on the + side, here's wat i miss:
-E.T.!! ~whoooppeeedooo!! i missed et!!! hahas. ((((=
-DnT. yayness. hate dat sub but on the other hand dis will mean 9 periods od missig DnT. =(/=) go figure.
-no need to hand in hmwk!! havent finish seh..
-HMT! yayness. or on the other hand cannot see *his bro. grr.
yep. dats all i'll miss happily or not.. hahs. ytds parade was all shitty as usual.. saw HIM! yay! hahs.. he shy, i shy den who's gonna make the 1st move?? hahs. stupid. den very nice. he talk to me uh.. so nice. =) hahs. den got dis siren so cannot parade.. got lightning n stuff.. very cool lar. i like! hahs. den got wat? tink dats it.. den HL made sum1 angry.. grr. ass lar u. make dat DUMBASS.. stupid shit. hahs. kk. dunno wat 2 write. blardy borin lar.. n oh ya, did sum cookin. nice! hahahs..

kk. on a serious note. i dunno whether wanna gif him ans or not. i scared i reject den later i miss u de.. but i scared i accpet i cant make u happy like dat time wit _him_. hais.. how? i miyself confuse lar.. i dun wanna dissapoint neither.. hais.. i dun wanna tink bout it too much also.. hais. tink stay like wat we are now beta.. no hard feelings, no sadness cos we are jsut more den frens.. i scared if we take a step furthur, i'll be sad.. haiya. dun wanna tink too much.. let, fate, god, destiny determines wat happen.. hais. k narh.. wanna go.. byez.

`wake me up when september ends..`

gosh. i'm still sick.. eh, wad telah happen to both of ya?? *confused* hmm.. nvm. i'll go find out myself.. whahah.. u noe he dunno y say wanna be frens. i was like huh? i wanted to accpet u leh.. den like dat..? grr.. nvm lar. sad but cant do anythin. who ask me be so slow n stupid?! mayb fate has its own story leh. hahs. live everythin to fate... yep. if god wants it to be den it'll happen but now tink god dun wanna make me to involve in all dis things.. hahs. kk. i'm crappin.. but hais.. if u r readin dis... just want u noe dat i regretted havin 2nd thoughts.. anoder of my silly mistake. 1 year le.. super long enuf time to trust u.. hmm. k lar.. wanna apologise to shawn.. he angry wit me le.. haha.. =P

elo.. today was just so frustating. grr.. shudnt go to skool ler.. haiya. thanx to all my frens for carin for me n stuff. cudnt believe mr wong cudnt tell dat i was sick! grr.. den still can ask me ques. mrs wong was nice. she noticed it! hahs. love her loads lar. during eng vomited. felt so weak lar.. hmms. den afta skool, went home. cannot tahan lar.. n guess who i saw?? *his bro! hahs.. so cool lar. n we were dat close! kk fine. no big deal just day i was surprised at his sight! den ytd was happy! cos <> smile at me! hahs. agaian. no big deal.. hahs. den today, suppose to gif him ans. dunno le.. i got my reasons ya y i'm delayin my answer. i'm scared of rejectin n acceptin u.. lets leave it all to fate. ytd also, went westmall to eat. wit din, yana, fizzah, iz n alif. so funny lo.. play wit the ice. kk. haiya.. headache ardy. wanna go eat.. byezz..!

u flirt lah u! grr.. haha. niwae, ytd n today was fun. yep. luv my frens lar.. social life goin good.. :) kz. lets talk bout today. was feelin urgh-ly in the morn. grr.. cudn't beleive wat i was feelin.. so ashamed wit myself. uhs.. nvm. den al those stupid lesson. oh wait not stupid. nice. i still havent catch up wit maths!! grr.. trigo ratios okie lar but still got sum parts i stuck lar. grr.. must get help. tmr got remedial. yayness! free to ask more ques.. umm. summore wat? geog was just oh-so-boring. hahs. n so are the oterh lessons. hahs.. hmt was just okie. cikgu cute lar! haha. serious. she noe us to well. all she does is sit, gif us work, talk wit us, xplain wat we dun. splendid way of teachin! hahs. den summore gif us talk.. rawkin cool lar cikgu! not like zelda. hahs =x den go home... n i wanna buy emily wallet. very nice de lo.. fit wit my hp .. hahs. tink dunno wat else to write lar.. k nar.. want go do work.. byez!

"today's the day dat i pray we'll make it thru..

make it thru the fall..

make it thru it all.."

shawn is so crappy.. haha. now chatting wit him. haha. he super duper weird lar.. al those minor things he rmbs! haha.. n now he's givin me "dancin" dots. nice! =P haha.
niwae, no time to waste. wanna do hmwk. todays was nice. yep. like it. gtg. byez!!..

silence n blur face=gd results(trust me!) lol.

"when he learn to love.

grr.. i accidentally deleted the previous post. nvm. lets re-write. ytd was the ncc rehearsal.. was tiring but fun lar. heh.. was happy bout some changes. =) but yeah it was cool.. n i dun gif a fuckin shit ardy if u guys dun wanna bother bout me. wat i care is dat my priorities do. hehe. niwae, march the 1st n 2nd time was shit lar. but the 3rd time was nice. the ncc finally cheered lar..! hahas.. n btw, i saw him ppl!!! i did! hah. i was like so squirmish.. hahs. he say he got wave n i was like huh? didn't see le.. nvm. still got nxt time. heh. den go home, he msg me all the way lar. so nice! haha.. but tink, wateva happens, i dun wanna fall to deep. cos i learn enuf lesson ardy lar..
today! today, go n eat swensen! ~whee..! finnally eat bake rice. yeahness!! very nice lar. heh. den eat ice cream.. my mum very funny lar.. dun say here lar. i eat the cookie summit thingy. nice. hmm. den go shoppin. bought jacket. i like oso. haha. iz, yana, zin, my bdae can no need buy sweater lo.. i get ardy. hehehe.. den go home. den a few mins later, go shen siong. buy things again lar. tink i'm gonna go cookin soon. buy alot things lar.. den go home, play, finish up geog wksht. den tink later will do the write up. den do maths. hah. den tmr go out wit mum den do project. yep. so i tink dats bout it. wanna go do work.. byezzz!

heyaaa!!! haha.. kk. today was fun! hahs.. but mayb, after all, changin seats wasnt bad. just dat durin maths always stuck alone cos everybody ard me is like so clever ardy.. nvm. must work hard!! so determin man.. of course. even geog i undstns a lil bit. hah. n for the 1st time, i listen attentively to science n my txtbk is so nice wit notes. ahaz.. finally a gd teacher but rest assure, mrs lee will always be the best..! haha. kk. nvm. den had x country. was late by 30 mins mind u. but luckily, god sent angels to tell us where to stop. thank you loads man!! den tink most of it is walk but still okie lar. beta den last yr the x country. den afta dat, wait for yana.. den he go meet her *ahem!* den we go eat. bus so crowded but not the point. its den go down at bukit batok der wit, din, yana, renee, fizzah, aliff n adi. so noisy lar dem. haha. den since din wanna blanja go eat lo.. lucky dad allow.. he's nice lar now! i lub him to bits ar.. haha. go mkn at the cavana der. okie, not bad, although we mininterpreted wat adi meant by kopitiam. haha. kk.. so tink mkn3.. den haha. funny lo. dey luv to crap.. woow. den thanks din for blanja-ing me. hahasss.. he so nice lar at times. den tink go home cos cant be back dat late... in the train, so boring lo.. haiss.. but, nvm. overally. it was gd. den now he msgin me den is tmr go ncc day rehearsal... ~whee.. tink life so far is gd. not wat i want but tink i'm blessed enuf ardy.. be contented. haha. tink got wat else to say arh?? dunno arh.. i'm dead beat.. wanna go sleep..
byezz..!!