i cant sleep so i'll blog. haha.
you can skip this entry cos i'll be ranting on and on about things that won't even matter to you. haha.

yesterday was awesome. :D
after so verrryyyy long; it feels nice.
even better. (:
hahaha.

today went out with CHELTTON.
to simply slack and catch up. (:
i love spending time with him cos its like, i dunno. i can be myself, i can keep quiet i can crap, i can be stupid all in a day and he's always so patient. haha.
thanks for the treatssssssSSSS! (:
and don't be late next time! haha.

hmm.. thought about lots of things today.
i msg a certain someone today thinkin that she would you know, somehow realise that i do miss her lots. butbut... it doesnt seem to matter anymore. we dont even talk nor call. and worst, you dont bother. i've been trying so hard this days to make it right, to get back to how we all began. but its impossible. i dont even know what goes on in your life and thus, i dont think im fit to be called your FRIEND. cos i'll be ashamed if someday, some random person ask about you and i'll be clueless. you dont even make that effort. the ignorance coming from you is appaling. so much for BFFF. i truly hate the term and i dont think ppl should refer or call us **** anymore. cos none of us deserve it. not a SINGLE one.. it sucks but when reality sets in and when things really becomes all nasty, and when everybody starts to get busy, our friendship is tested and none of us seem to win this battle. or should i say none of us bother to fight for it. not even me, yes. i thought we should stand behind each other, be those kind who will call each other anytime, give a surprise msg, call etc. anything. but no.. it never was. -was it? lets face reality and admit, that theres no more **** right?

im not angry, not even upset.
just disappointed, cos this is not the first.
oh well, sorry if i hurt anyone whatsoever cos its bothering me and its getting on my nerves.

ok. besides that, i wanna talk about something else.
but, i rather not.
hmm...

i feel like theres something missing. like everything i do, i dont really feel a sense of accomplishment. and i have no idea why. i think the thought of losing so many close ones and finding back old ones is too overwhelming tht i cant sort out whats good and not. what i should keep and what i shouldnt. it seems like everything is starting back all over again. and nothing this time round is going the way i plan. its like im going through god's motion and just let everything pass by without a good reason. its seems pointless.

oh well, i dont think i sound like i make any sense in the above paragraph. haha.
ok. i want a 4E4 PPL GATHRING &
SHANGHAI PPL GATHERING
sooooooooooon. (:

i save this paragraph as a draft and i found it while looking through my archive:
13.10.2007
ytd was such a nice evening.i cant say much but yahh.i've done all those stuff i did wit u ytd wit others.but ytd. the feelin was so different.so much better.sumtin i've NEVER felt.i wanna rip my heart out n tell the whole world is dat i want but sumtins holdin me back.its just dosnt feel rite sumwhere along the line.u know, i wished u come earlier.cos den i wont even tink twice bout havin u.but now. im tinkin thrice. ):niwae. thnx for everytin.given a million yrs, im very sure i still wont find sumone like u.all those things u did, only i know.i'll foreva rmb. thnx.

haha. it seems funny when i think about it.
go figure.

gonna go out wit RENEE tmr.
hehehe.
gonna get my SNEAKERSSS. (:

ohoh. and if you've been reading through everytin,
i guess you've just wasted 7 mins of your life ,
knowing bout my life.
hahaha.

- the state of my heart, the place where we are, was written in the stars. (: