its soooo late ardy and i cant sleep.
toot.
im emoing/ missing a lot of ppl. ):
sadSAAAAAAD.
the only peron talkin to me is SUFFIAN.

how nice. (:

i miss *********.
ok. go figure. but miss him lots. LOTSSSS! ): until i feel very sad. and thats not like me! sigh. its just hitting me hard. and i dunno why. the saddest things is that i would NEVER see you again after this and it bothers me alot cos i've shared a part of me wit you and somehow it gets so hard to just see you walk away. you know when i last saw you the other day? the smile that u gave was just so familiar that it automatically brings me back to that day when we first had the best times in each others company. so comfortable it seems. it was that simple and nice. i'd do ANYTHING. to rewind and just let it pause there so that i dun have to deal with the fact that it'll NEVER be the same- with or without you. ):

i miss HANYANG.
ok. screw me. go ahead and say whatever you guys want. i just miss having the company. like you know, when u have bf, u can just like pick up the phone whenever ur sad or anyting. and the best thing is, u NEVER feel lonely. its just feels so nice. but when this comfort/happiness is reap frm u, it hurts. IT HURTS REAL BAAAAD! its like and empty spot. it like so weird. and then, talking to you nowadays are like the cold winds in shanghai. so "brrr.." wth. and hate this feeling too. i dun miss him cos after whatever you did, i dun tink u deserve it, but i just miss the COMPANY. thats all. its different to have this kind of company and the kind of company with you friends. it really is. ok. go figure. or maybe.. like FAIZAL said: "u just like to be loved." oh well.

i miss ZIYL.
yes, yes. all 3 of u. ZIN. i heard ur having probs. so do call me ks. nana! i suddenly feel like telling you alot of things. izzati! u know me best, and i looook forward to the next time i see u! hopefully SOOON.

i miss SCSS.
yes. i take the train to boon lay to every morning and i see swiss, i feel like alightin at gombak and just sit there. i duno why. it seems so routined, that passing by that place brings ALOT of memories. 4 yrs of schooling there le. its so OMG. SO FAST!!!

i miss MY SHANGHAI FAMILY.
i was sorting out the photos and then, i came across my shanghai photos! how i wish,WISH,WISH i can go back there with all 9 of you. and then i go to the dusty blog and i almost teared. its truly amazing how we bond and just find solace/comfort wit one another. i suddenly feel like bitching abt some random thing to jasmine or kx or andrea. i dunno. the feeling is sososososoSOSO weird. i cannot beleive that the trip impacted so much on my life. i just miss the fun and the laughters. i miss MRKAMAL's lesson. i seriously do. i plan to take up history and go back swiss to teach after my a's. (: REALLY.

at the end of it, i really feel like crying. ):

i REALLY hope it pays off.
but. IM PREPARED.
for rejection/acceptance. ):

i've DECIDED. (:
i wont say what i put as my choice, but either way,
im SATISFIED.
and i'll be VERY happy both ways.

i wonder whats your choice? ):
it sucks to not know what goes on in your life.

crashing PJC tmr!
pon sch tmr!
haha. den got to rush back down to JJ for shadows meeting.
(:
i loveLOVE busy life.

hahas. talking to you, for once being open bout everthing. it feels so good and nice. it brings back good memories which im very happy somewhat for it to happen and how it failed halfway. if only i can still look at you and say all those. do i have the courage? hmm.. whatever it is. it feels good to be able to open up to you and talk about the past. (:
-it warms the inside just like it should.

went to check out SAJC today. (:
security was damn slack! hahs.

the sch was HUGE lahh.
quite impress wit the bridge and the synthetic rugby field.
and...
thier $10 000 gate which was available at JJC also! =.=
LOLS. (firqin u know why!!!)
thanks FIRQIN for spending ur saturday wit me! hahs.
quite fun eh kluar ngan ko! hahs. (:

im gonna miss this guy the MOST if i do, FINALLY, decide to leave JJ.

IM STILL UNDECIDED!

this SUCKS!

ohoh, that ppl, is FAIZAL. :D

he's my gooood buddy in JJC.

was quite touch abt sometin u say ytd. thanx.

made me think twice abt leaving u and the rest.

dance partner, classmate, and a good FRIEND.

i had the same impression i had abt him as i did when i saw izzati for the 1st time.

i thought he was some snobbish ass cos he didnt even talk to us on the 1st day of class and he wanted to go like NJC and i was like wth. hahahas.

butBUT.

turns out the opposite!

LOVE THE COMPANY WIT YOU MAN!

xD

ohoh!

i want to jump in hoopla and circles cos HISYAM just....

*** * ****** ** ** **********!!!

ok. tooo HAPPY to say.

ok. HISYAM is a fmss guy who happens to be CUTEEE!

as in the "kawaiii-NeHxX!!~~" -.-

omg lahhh. so fucking happy!

im very happy cos ZJY is alive on MSN back!
he promise to chat wit me some other day.

and i feel so damn comforted! xD

HE'S A GREAT GUY LAHHH. (:

im dead beat.

and i still dunno where to go.

i wanna go sleep ardy.

NITEZ.

i've edited one of my posts.
cos, haha. i dun want ppl to think wrongly.
presumptions are baaad.
haha.
oh well.

I'M DEAD BEAT.
today had some CCAB MEETING in JJC and shadows were suppose to do ushering duties. saw some swiss teachers. MR SAMUEL LIM. he recognise me! hahs. damn funny. saw MR SHARIZAN, THOMAS TAN AND MRS CHUA too! so glaaaaad to see familiar faces. (:

after that was MASS DANCEEEE! partnered wit faizal! ((: hahs. we keep gettin the turning part wrong and he has VERY BAD DIRECTIONAL PROBS! he will go left when ppl ask him to go right! and he laughs at me when he's actually doing it wrongly! LOLS.

kena some scoldings afer that cos weren't up to standard.
): hmm..

alrighty.
I'VE MADE UP MY MIND.
i'll put SAJC as my 1st choice. i took a very loooong and hard time to think about it. and i've decided. the only reason i want to stay in JJC is cos of the spirit and the culture and I KNOW DAMN BLOOOOODY WELL OUR 'O2 CAMP IS GONNA BE A BLAST. but! 3 days of fun must not stop me frm fulfilling my dream since i was in sec3, which is goin to SAJC. besides, mrCHUA assured us that if SA's not good, as in we canot fit in, JJ will always welcome us back. and WE CAN COME BACK FOR JJ NITE! ~yayyyy! xD

ps: talking to you was NICE. hahs.
xoxo, :D

my joy over results is being dampen by so many things!

when u say you'd call, YOU JOLLY WELL DO! cos now, i cant sms because of u and ur not makin a single cent out of it worth it. damn it. ur sad, so am i. but least be considerate. i wasnt angry at u the last time u did this to me man. but now.... omg. i soooo need to sms ppl lahh. ):

after results was so zzz..
was damn saad cos i took no photos, notin.
no final memories cos everybody just left! )):
dats very sad man.

ok results was unexpected!!!
minus my bonus pts, i've got 9 POINTS.
haha. go figure my raw score ok! (:
SUPER HAPPY!
cos i can go SAJC.
butbut, oh well... dun wanna talk bout posting today.

today too, was damn nice.
cos i seeee YOU. ~yayyyyyyyyy! xD
(not hanyang lahhh!)
u dunno how happy i saw to see that same old familiar look with that smile on ur face and i just... melt. -.- hahaha.
i was THAT happy. (:

i was happy too cos when i saw hanyang i tot i'd get all upset. BUT! haha. no feelings le. very neautral! haha. (:

alrighty peeps.
i wanna go sleep.
MASS CHATS ARE FUN BUT CONFUSIN!

im feeling very sad now.
today seems to mark the ending and beginnig of manyMANY things.
which, im not prepared for.

RESULTS.
hmm. where will it bring me too? where would i go. seriously, i dun mind going to a poly or MI. but, the thought of leaving JJ sucks big time. it really gave me a sense of belonging and pride. OG22! is like the 1st ppl i knew in JJ and im so thkful that god bring me to them. if my results are good, i would want to go to a better jc, but again, leaving JJ is somethin i really dun want to do. on the other hand, travelling frm jurong to boon lay is no easy fit. can i take it for 2 yrs? and then, wat if my results suck like big time? i would be disappointed as hell but theres no use regretting. bottom line, I DONT WANT TO LEAVE JJC! but..... theres so many things that i have to think about. going back and going sch alone is really not a nice feeling. but then again, the JJ spirit is like already in me and i loveLOVE thier culture. not forgettin ppl i wont see if i dun go back there. XINJIE, LAIXING, YINGQUAN, EESUAN, KEITH, FAIZAL, TEEKAI, GADIS. omg.

in alex's words:
"10 yrs of studying leh.. you tell me how to not stress!"
LOL. quite true le actually.

today too, would be the laaassssst time i'll meet 4E4 and ppl who have made my life in swiss unforgettable. they've made life so complete and i've nvr regret joining swiss. and it'll be the last time i'll see han yang too. ive thought about it and i'll just let it come and then go. im glad we both have move on so well. im prepared at least for this. its kinda like the END of sec sch life. end of slacking. end of life in SCSS.

the song SAY GOODBYE has been playing for like 15 mins. hahs. its just a saad song to rmb today. as we say our goodbye's, we await and see wat lies ahead. its so fast how life has change and how time have fly. its difficult to let go but we have to. best of luck to one and all who would receive thier results! :D

I'M GONNA MISS SWISS!
I'M GONNA MISS BEING A JJCIAN!

you turn around,
you walk away,
and tears roll down my cheeks,
as moments turn to memories,
to memories we'll releive.
(:

im NOT preparred lahhhhhhhhhhhh. ):
not prepared for results.
not prepared to see YOU.
i swear.

*edit.
hmm...
looking at ur pics is hard.
looking at the conversations, even harder.
it hits me soSO hard. hmmm... its very hard to let go of the memories. haha.
but! i feel damn happy dat i deleted the msgs in my phone.
it helps ok ppl!
cos u dun look at it and den be saaad. (:

im sosososo happpy in JJ now.
i found gd friends.
today.. ended shadows meeting at 7.30.
there were still ALOT of J2s ard.
went back wit many ppl. and i feel goood. (:
cant wait for REVELATIONS tmr!
yayyy.

cant wait for thursday too!
RESULTS.
annnnd.... haha. can see youuuu!
no, not han yang.

hello! (:
life has been sooo darn busy.
oh yesss. im 85% sure i'll stay in JJ-
provided my results can make it lahhhh. -.-

I'M A SHADOW!
hahas. u wanna know wat i do, come JJC!
i assure you, our orientation is the besssssst. (:
cos im in the planning com.! hahaha.
im in SCDC:
(songs, cheers, dance & concert!)
JJ NIGHT!!!! *cant wait!
see me DANCCEEEE! hahaha. xD

ended like super late today.
went home wit FAIZAL. (:
omg. he damn funny and cuteee lahh. hahas.
faizal: one of my OG mates lost her hp and ipod.
me: oh really? my friend also!!! wats her name?
faizal: oh. her name xin yi. i dun think u know her.
me: ehhhhhh! ISNT THAT GIRL OUR CLASSMATE?!!!
lol.
he's a shadow too!
but in the GAMES COM. hee.

im quite scared for results!!
if i get very good, then i'll have a gd reason to move out of jj.
but if noooot,
i dunno whether i can tahan the SUPER LONG journey for 2 yrs!!!
=x omg.
but is like i ardy have a place in jj lo..
HOW????!
or worst!
i cant even go jc?!

cant wait for MASS DANCEEEE!
as in to learn all of them and then teaching em to the other leaders!
YAYYY! xD

so manyyy things have been going on! and im loving this life! (:

today. had some YOUTH OLYMPIC GAMES SEMINAR.
wit JJC as motivators! ~wheets.
i love the atmosphere that we always achieve at the end of the day.
eveybody is like so reluctant at first but in the end, all hyped up! hahs.
MASS DANCE with FAIZAL! xD
ok this is damn funny lahh. haha. shall not say how we end up dancing together! so paiseh... hahas. =.= butBUT. i still prefer dancing wit DAVE! lols. used to it lahh maybe.
we cheered, sang, dance omg! so damn fun.

after that went to follow my OG mates to eat lunch. i have VERY CARING OGLs and RUI GUO! haha. they die die wanna eat at some place where got halal food just for me! (: damn touched! even though i say i didnt mind and all that cos i wasnt eating anyway. but yahh. they still say must respect me! haha. BUT! in the end xinjie ate pork! hahas. damn funny. but its ok! im used to it ardyy! xD thank you LAI XING!!

then met CHELTTON.
haha. thank you so much for LIMPING your way there. =x
then i saw GUO NIAN working. hahas.
when we ate long john to eat, suddenly got some fight!!
some guy suddenly start to bash up another guy and there was vulgarities everywhere. the guy also go and throw water onto the other guys face!!
damn scary and I HATE PPL WHO FIGHT!!!
was so traumatized man until i kept quiet for like 10 mins. -.-

ok! proper sch starts tmr! xD
so excited man!! meeting new ppl all over again.
(: same class as FAIZAL, RYAN AND SHURAN.
yay! hahs.

today i want to talk simply about FRIENDS. i've realise that sometimes in ur deepest most difficult moments, then you'll find your true BFFFFFF. (: i say this because for this past wk i've known incredible ppl who have help me through times. fitting into jc is not all that easy. but when u find ppl who are there to help you, it feels nice. so damn nice.

i rmb during EWEB on the last day of orientation. we have to say "thank you" to any person in the grp who have impacted our lives during the camp. at first i had no idea who to pass on my side of the string, and i simply tot it would be the person i talk most too or one of the OGLs. but as the session progress, i realise ppl say thank you because of small lil things that somehow, though it seems small to others, to one person, it could mean the world. i rmb i passed my side of the string to LI LING. (: i wont say why but she wasnt all that close to me, but somehow the help that she provide me during that period, made me appreciate and somehow, forged a bond i'd never knew possible. :D

IZZATI: thanks for ALWAYS being there for me. i'm so thankful we're not those kind of fake friends who say "I LOVE YOU!!!" and then dun mean it. i'm glad i can say soo many things to you and the fact that i always have things to talk about when im wit you. i'm glad you try ur best to make time for me when i really needed it. im glad u bothered caring bout me when i broke up wit hy and not just ignore or PRETEND to not know. the new yr would have been disastrous without you. hahas.

and yesss, this is unexpected.
WENJING: ytd i was quite shock when u apologize abt ignoring me, marcus dey all in sch. the fact that you also changed after that made me feel so happy cos i knew ur apology was frm the bottom of ur heart. (: im so thankful that u dun treat me like some stranger and gladly introduce you to your friends: TED & EDWARD! best of all, thanx for accompanying to eat lunch today just bcos the foodcourt had no halal food. though it may not seem like a big deal, the fact that u sacrifice and just simply suggested that we eat KFC was soooo damn nice of you. i was very touch man! (: biiig THANK YOU! joan is a lucky girl to have you man! hahs.

another one, JUNYANG:
i was so releif to talk to you even it was for awhile. the warmth and the concern that you have was so heart-warming. thanks for your effort/help, but i too cannot be bothered. im just so glad u didnt ignore/avoid or make me feel weird. this is wat i call friends! its like this guy is damn honest and when he smile and look at you, you know he's telling the truth. and not lieing or weaving out a lie. :D THANX!!

annd. MARCUS! sorry made u late and all that stuff after that. thank you for being so patient! hahas. was telling wj that i scared u fucked up! hahas. but i think u see jazreel everythin ok le rite? =x hope so! hahs. (:

(the ppl i write above all are very nice! hahs. thats why they are attached. xD hahs.)

went back to SWISS COTTAGE today!
so HAPPYYYY to see you! ~lalalala. my heart skip a beat. no make that TWO BEATS! :D super excited caaaan?! its ok if we didnt talk cutie! least we msged. omg! so HAPPY lahh. have a gd rest! see you soooon ok. NO. make it tmr! xD

i have some idiotic OGL interview tmr! this is damn sian ok. i wanna go back swiss again to see my friends. and i have only ONE FREAKASS SHITTY lesson tmr! which ends at 9!! and then i have to waaaait till 3! how rediculous is this! ): should i just give up the OGL thingy???!

ok! JJC has been fun! i got so many things to say! but my OGLs aint that friendly anymore. was walking wit chen qing then i saw keith(yesss! the cute one!), then he ignored us. WTF. hahas. andAND. HISYAM! xD

alrighty, i dun tink i have anything more to say.
CANT WAIT FOR NEXT WK! xD

school has been damn bored.
i dun have any closeCLOSE friend.
and thats SAAAAAD.
butBUT. i love JJC.
as in the sch, lessons and the ppl. (:

GP is damn boring!
hate hate HATE that subject.
keep falling asleep! =\
MATHS is funnn.

today! during one of those longLOOOONG breaks, all the girls frm OG22 like was sitting/slacking at the grandstand and then
evina was like: "do you think ***** is cute?"
girls: "YEAHHHHHHHS!"
i was like OMG!
haha. they think so too!
damn funny.
then me, amelia and yiqian saw keith on the way, and we burst out laughing!
hahahs. damn funny!

ok lahh.
veryVERY tired.
I NEED TO FIND A GOOOOOD BUDDY SOON!
cant wait for life to be in full swing!
wanna get busy!
alrighty. dats all folks.

ps: someone get me the SA tshirt! =x
pss: even more CUTER today! xD

eyy... how are you? =x
*gasps!*

JJC ROCKS!!! xD
hahas! cant beleive i would have sooo much fun ok!
breakfast, lunch and dinner together was sooo fun lahh.
ok. wont say wat happen cos you guys wont understand.
but.BUT.
do go JJC if u like mass dancing wit a member of the opposite sex with hugging and all that to like 6 different songs! or if you like to cheer and sing like nobodys business! or if you wanna get high like crazy! or u like to squeeeez! xD

OMG!
WATER GAMES/KINETIC WARFARE WAS SUPERRRRRRRR FUN!
thnx GAMES COM! ((:

i danced wit DAVEE!!
haha. he can dance ok! LOL!
greatGREAT partner for the dance!
its like we never even talk so much then we have to hold hands and hug! and im like... haha! butBUT! we did our parts and im sure we had lots of fun! keep ps-ing my partner for him! LOLS!. ((((:

JJ got CUTEEEE boys too!
ALOT! haha. xD
haha. omg!
FINALLY! ((:
hahahahaha.

JJC got SYNTHETIC FIELD.
where the grass will neverEVER turn brown! HAHAHS.
and we have GAMING ROOM!
this is damn cool lahh.
i saw the room and alot of boys playing and im like !!! haha.
if you do read the newpapers, it was published. and the guy who initiated this club is HANDSOME! haha.he's my OGL and ahhh. ok, nobody would understand!
the shops,
JJ AFFINITY, COOKIE SHOP etc, so cooool lahh!

got to know our classes too!
seperated from the enitre OGL.
im taking H2 malay language and lit. =.=
hahas. so boring but i choose the wrong stream, so yahh.
didnt get to take H2 history.

ok lahh.
nobody would understand wat i write.
and dats like the sadest part.....
cos when i go to like the blogs of ppl frm swiss, we all seem so detach and its like i cant understand or feel the same joy anymore cos i dunno wat they're talkin bout. ): but.. its just a part of life that we must accept and move on!

OG 22 rocks!
OGLs rock too!
TEAM JJ!!
"show them how we JJcians FIGHT!!! (:

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